The Happy Tears

part six

Preeya had driven home and creeped inside. The house was unusually quiet, but as she went upstairs to her room, she found her grandmother reading.

“Where is everyone Nanee?” she asked quietly,

“Your parents were invited to go to someone’s house for dinner.” Her grandmother replied.

“Nanee why didn’t you go?”

“Oh you know me Preeya, I’m just too tired nowadays…plus, I wanted to see my granddaughter.”

She said with a smile, putting her book away and looking up at Preeya, still edged by the door.

 “Why do your eyes look so watery?” Nanee asked suspiciously, as Preeya walked in and sat on the bed with her grandmother.

“I just need a hug Nanee…long day.” They hugged for a while, Preeya holding onto her grandmother and releasing everything into the air. She loved the smell of her grandmother; it was so homely and delicate. After a while, Preeya let go of their embrace, already feeling much better.

She went upstairs to her room, and re-calculated the situation she was in. Jack was in love with her. He admitted something she never could say. Had she fallen for him too? Was this love or not? She couldn’t face him…not now. Not after she ran off like that. Tomorrow, she wasn’t needed in school; it was her day to plan lessons. A high sigh of relief left Preeya. At school, she thought, Preeya would simply stay in the science department all day. She’d come home for lunch and then leave school as soon as all her students left. This way, she could avoid Jack at all costs she thought.

In the comfort of her own home, Preeya sat in the living room eating her breakfast and watching daytime TV. Despite the TV was blaring, her thoughts were far away. She knew tomorrow, she’d have to be back in school, and no doubt Jack will try to find her to talk. But she couldn’t. How could she make him understand that she simply couldn’t fall in love with him? She would never be able to marry him, because of their differences in faith. But even if that was solved, how could she ever make her family understand? They would never accept him. And consequently, never accept her. She wanted to love him. On the bridge last night, Preeya felt a tingling down her spine when he pulled her close. His voice was as soft as he spoke. And as he kissed her, she glowed from within. But then suddenly, she realised what she was doing. It was as if it was all a dream and she’d woken up to the horror of reality. Backing away she could think of nothing but run. She felt terrible for leaving him like that, but felt even worse knowing that deep in her heart, she wanted more. She too, was in love with Jack – for so long, even in her own thoughts, could she ever admit that. But she knew that if she wanted to love him, she’d have to sacrifice her family ties. Would that be selfish of her? She thought deeply as she sipped her tea. If she could not be with Jack, then would she have to sacrifice her true happiness and settle for second-best? Her mind swirled with thoughts, questions and scenarios as she tried to figure out her future.