luke looked over at all three boys as they sat at the table on the tour bus, talking and eating as he just sat a couple feet away on the couch with his earbuds in.
it's not that he didn't want to be over there with them. sometimes he feels like they don't want him around.
he looked up when they saw all the boys walking towards them.
"hi guys-"
"hey, scoot over a little bit. we're gonna play xbox." calum said, and luke nodded, moving to the edge of the couch.
michael sat beside luke and kissed his temple quickly, making the younger boy feel a little better.
luke watched as they all picked up third controllers, not even asking luke if he wanted to play.
"michael?" luke whispered, and michael glanced over at luke for a second.
"yeah?" he asked, and luke looked at the other boys nervously to make sure they weren't listening.
"can we maybe go back to the bunk and cuddle? i'm not having a good day." luke whispered.
"hey, everything's alright, baby." michael whispered, kissing luke's cheek before looking back to the tv.
"well, can i play?" luke asked, and all the guys laughed a little.
"luke, you suck at this game." calum laughed, and luke frowned.
"but-"
"luke, we'll play something with you later-"
"you make it sound like i'm the annoying little brother." luke whined.
"cause you are." ashton laughed.
"but i just-"
"luke, babe.." michael whispered, and looked at luke with pleading eyes.
luke's face fell when he realized even his boyfriend didn't want him there.
"sorry." luke whispered, and stood up. michael watched as luke walked away, and it caught the other boy's attention too.
"hey, is he alright?" ashton asked quietly, and michael sat his controller down.
"he said he was having a bad day. i should've listened. just let me go check on him." michael whispered, and stood up.
he walked down the hall a little, and pulled back the curtain to luke's bunk. he had the biggest one, and loved sneaking michael in.
"hey, scoot over." michael whispered, and luke sighed.
"what? trying to push me out of my bunk too?" luke mumbled.
"come on..." michael said, and pushed luke's body all the way back to the wall. he laid down beside luke, and pulled the curtain shut. it was a really tight fit, but he loved being close to luke. "...tell me what's going on."
"i'm just having a bad day. it's nothing." luke whispered.
"no, it's something. i want to know when you're not feeling right. i'm sorry for not listening earlier." michael whispered, brushing luke's hair to the side, and snuggling into the back of his shoulder.
"i know you guys love me, but- i feel like you guys don't like me, you know? you guys are always so close and i'm just there." luke said softly, and michael laughed.
luke's face fell again, and tears filled his eyes. he closed them and felt his body shake as he let out those big tears that he's been holding in.
"luke- baby, no. you're serious? i thought you were kidding. please don't cry." michael said, kissing his shoulder, and holding him so much tighter.
"i'm s-sorry. i just feel like sometimes you guys don't want me."
"no, sweetheart. don't think like that-"
"you guys always push me away! it's not really a big deal, but when i have a bad day it just hurts a little more." luke whimpered.
"hey, turn around, okay?" michael asked, and luke slowly turned around in michael's arms, facing him.
"we love you more than anything in the whole world, luke. especially me. i'm so in love with you, and i'm sorry it feels like we don't want you around. you need to know that's not true though." michael whispered, and luke buried his head in michael's chest.
"i'm sorry, michael-"
"don't do that. don't apologize for how you feel." michael whispered, running his hand through luke's soft curls.
luke closed his eyes and let michael hold him, calming him down with every stroke of his hair.
"don't talk anymore, baby. just listen to me, and go to sleep, okay? you always feel better if you rest on your bad days..." michael whispered, and luke nodded, letting his eyes close.
"...i love you more than anything in the whole world. whenever you're not around i don't like it one bit. i never mean to push you away. i guess i don't realize i do it because you never really leave me alone, you know? and i like it like that. if i could spend the rest of my life just holding your hand so i know you're right beside me than i would." michael whispered, kissing his head, and letting his own eyes close.
"you should never have to feel lonely. especially not when i'm here."
luke smiled a little, and snuggled in closer once michael pulled a blanket over him.
luke listened to michael just go on and on about how much he loved the younger boy until luke couldn't keep his eyes open any more. he drifted to sleep with michael's hand tangled in his hair as he kept mumbling slurred, sleepy words.
michael eventually stopped talking, and fell asleep still holding onto luke.
even in their exhausted, unconscious states, everything around them felt right as they just laid close to each other.
