Forever & Always

xi

Dear Ry,

I'm meeting up with Gio again today. This is our fifth 'date'. I think i'm falling for him, and that scares me. I don't want to let you go. I'm worried that he's the one that i'll think about at night instead of you. I'm worried that he'll leave me broken like you did. I'm worried for so many reasons, yet i can't seem to vocalise any of them. When you're attached to the thought of someone for so long, it's hard to let go.

I can talk to him like i've known him for years. He just sits and listens patiently. He puts up with me. I trust him more than my own family... I told him about you. He said that you were lucky enough to have someone like me. That he is lucky to talk to someone like me; but what's lucky about talking to a girl with unsure feelings of anything anymore? A girl who doesnt even have the courage to face the world some days.

He has so many good intentions. He wants to travel and make the world a better place. One smile at a time, he says.

He doesnt realise what a beautiful soul he has. From the way his eyes glisten and change colour in the sun, to the way his lips arch when he smiles, or when he's concentrating he frowns and pouts a little like a child having a mini tantrum. The way his hands feel on mine, the way his scent lingers and how the freckle on his right temple and the freckle underneath his right eye join up to make a perfect curve. His laugh is a sweet as a summers day, and his voice is smooth and calming. He hasnt noticed like i have.

I'm mesmerised by him like i was with you. For all the days that i got to spend with you, i hope i get double the amount with him. I deserve to be able to love someone with an actual heartbeat.

It's time now. We're going to go see a movie. I'll probably spend half of it looking at him.

I love you, Ry.

Forever & always.

- Ivy.