Journey to Joseph

Chapter 36: Joseph

Joseph realized that Adso truly did have no idea. He wished they could be alone and have a chance to really talk. Even if Adso hadn't experienced the grief, horror, hunger, and absolute misery of the last months, he would at least try to understand. And he might even have some insight over how to remain as Joseph.

Grimbert brought over six mugs, sliding one over to each person around the table.

"To freedom!" Pascual hurrahed, raising his mug in the air.

"To freedom!" everyone toasted in agreement.

The young cousins sipped on the frothy ale. Joseph wasn't a fan of the bitter taste and took long pauses between drinks. The four older men, however, sucked down their mugs with a fierce thirst. Nikolaus bought a second round, Lorenzo purchased the third, and Grimbert then ordered the fourth refill of their mugs before either Adso or Joseph had emptied even half their cups.

Alcohol greased their tongues and the conversation now swayed from polite banter to a slurring litany of drunken proclamations.

"What I don't understand," Nikolaus was practically shouting at this point, as though the alcohol had filled his ears and he had no way of determining the volume of his own voice, "Is why you gave that cursed necklace to Joseph in the first place."

"I didn't know, I swear I didn't know..."

"No one believes you," Nikolaus interrupted.

"Listen, listen, I know I've made mistakes..."

"That's good to know," Adso cut in.

"Hey, hey, let me speak," Grimbert's face was red with ale, "I know I've made mistakes, but I've learned something."

"Pray, what?" Adso asked.

"I learned-I learned that..." his voice trailed off momentarily, then his eyes connected with Joseph's, "I'm really truly sorry that I abandoned you. My mind was so muddled with grief over Richart that I wasn't thinking clearly. He was like a brother to me, you know."

"Yes, and he was truly my father," Joseph's reply was barely above a whisper. He wasn't about to accept Grimbert's drunken apology after everything that had happened.

"I know. Of course he was. Of course you were probably overwhelmed by grief as well. And whereas I crumbled apart under the weight of his loss, you rose up and survived. You really are one tough kid."

"Especially for a girl," Nikolaus snorted, practically falling off of his stool.

Joseph's face burned. He wanted to shrink into nothing and disappear. Grimbert's mouth hung open comically, and Pascual's and Lorenzo's faces were scrunched up in confusion. Adso pushed back his stool and was on his feet looking ready to fight.

"Nikolaus, how drunk are you?" Grimbert reprimanded after his initial pause.

"Pretty drunk," the man laughed, "Sorry."

"Is someone going to explain the joke?" Lorenzo asked.

"There's nothing to explain. Your brother-in-law has had too much ale," said Grimbert, dryly.

"I need some air," Joseph announced, inclining his head at Adso. He then stood and the two cousins walked out the door.

Outside, the afternoon sun was jarring after being in the dimly lit tavern for so many hours. They squatted against the building and Adso tried to be comforting, "Don't worry about Nikolaus. He's inebriated out of his wits, and the other two are so deep in their cups that they won't remember what he said."

"It doesn't matter," Joseph sighed.

"Of course it matters. You're upset."

"No, I mean, once we go home everyone will know the truth, because, well, I'll be home. I only became Joseph on this journey."