That Blue Gibson

CH 44

A/N: Sorry, I posted that last chapter twice. Thanks for all the reads and stars! We're at 1k!

Dave reached across the bed for Liz, his eyes opening when he only felt the cold sheets beside him. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, checking the clock on her nightstand that read two in the morning. He threw his shirt on and went after her, finally finding her on the tile floor of the dining room, staring out at the moonlit waves.

"You ok?" he asked expecting her to jump, but she just shrugged.

"Just over thinking my entire existence," she smiled up at him.

He sat next to her on the floor and she threw the other half of her blanket over him as he put his arm around her. They sat quietly for a long time, listening to the muffled waves before Liz sighed. There was so much that Liz wanted to say, so many things she wanted to ask him, to get his advice on, but she was just too exhausted to ask. She wanted her quiet life back, but she wouldn't have any peace for such a long time. She knew that someday she would be a has-been, just a "remember her?" segment on some garbage online news site, but at the moment it seemed so far away.

"I swear I'm a well adjusted, normal person," she finally said, "You just caught me on an off week, I guess."

"You mean you're not always running from ex-husbands and photographers?"

She laughed a little at that, turning her body to face him when her smile faded, "Am I always going to be running?"

Dave sighed, "That depends. You can run from it or you can embrace it."

"I want to run. Every part of me says run."

"But they're always going to be faster than you, Liz. There's always going to be someone pounding on your door, interrupting your life, someone begging for a piece of you and once you realize that you can't physically get away, you'll turn to something... else."

She examined his profile in the dark as he stared out to sea. He was right, she could easily see herself falling down the slippery slope of escapism when the pressure, the LA bubble, and the world became too much, "How do I embrace it?"

He took a deep breath and leaned back against the table leg, "When Nirvana got really big, we weren't even in the states. We were on some European tour, playing these little venues and just getting phone calls from people back home telling us we were on MTV and shit, and we thought it was hilarious. We thought it was a big fucking joke... and then we came home and it was happening. Krist and I just continued thinking it was all funny, but Kurt just couldn't. They wouldn't let him." He cracked his knuckles and thought for a moment, "I've seen so many people destroyed by what they thought was their escape, something they thought they were in control of and... well, you either embrace the fame and learn to live or you run from it and it catches you eventually. Either way, it gets you."

"Something gets everyone in the end, though," Liz was starting to think he was talking about something else entirely.

"Yeah, but fucking hell what a way to go."

She felt her heart constrict a little and leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. She thought about her plan and timeline she had set in front of her just a few days ago. She would finish her commitments and then stop, just stop working for the film industry. She could walk away completely within a year and a half and luckily hadn't signed any contracts or made any further commitments. She could just step aside and let the next girl take her place.

Acting had been an accident, something she had fallen into when Kyle's mom had gotten her a bit role in an indie just after Jack was born. She had loved that small supporting role and the ability to completely immerse herself in someone else's life for a while and forget her own. Kyle had been taking extended 'business trips' and she was struggling with depression, but somehow Jack was thriving. Very soon afterward more studios began seeking her out and she became addicted to the separation of her own life and the script. She especially loved the historical period dramas where she could use her history degree in the construction of her characters, but also for the complete separation of time. It was easy to forget the real world when you're riding around the countryside on horseback in amazing costumes. If she didn't have that world to escape to, she didn't know where else to go.