The Shadows

12| Lost Within

He tilts his head, analyzing her expression for any deception. Finally he shrugs. "I guess I'll go back to training." He turns to the front door and walks out. Morgan takes a heavy sigh.

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I throw myself through the front doors and sprint towards the forest. I wanted to get out of sight as quickly as I could. I didn't want anyone to follow me. No, I was not running away, I needed air, gasping for it. My chest tightens as my lungs constrict. I ran, and I ran for as long as I could, pushing my way through the trees until finally I stop. I place my hand on an ancient tree, hunching over and breathing heavily, catching my breath. My body was numb.

Have you ever felt like screaming your frustrations out, when you know no one was able to hear you? That's how I felt in this moment. I wanted to be in my own space. I became overwhelmed with frustration. I needed to know who I was and I was sick of being completely clueless. I felt lost and meeting that girl was what pushed me over the edge.

I take a deep breath in, letting it out in the loudest scream I could possibly rip from my chest. My throat pangs as it constricts. My breathing becomes heavier, taking in short breaths. I scream again, shorter this time, not able to hold it.

I took myself deep into this forest. I was able to cry and scream without judgement. I could feel the anger and frustration slowly lift from my shoulders.

"Why... why can't I remember! Wake the fuck up! What the hell is wrong with... with..." I say this as my hands grip the hair on my head. Tears begin flowing from my eyes, I scrunch them shut and let out a loud groan. I open my eyes to see my tears seeping into the ground. I allow myself to collapse, letting go of my remaining strength. My heartbeat fast and my anger building again. My hands lay lifelessly beside me. I look down to my right hand and glide it across the dirt. I do this a few times before grabbing onto a long weed tickling my leg. I rip it out and whip it to the side. I look around and grab onto another one and doing the same, until I am in a rampage of anger, ripping up the ground, throwing plants and dirt; Anything my hands could pick up.

As exhaustion soon aches through my arms and the vegetation around me is successfully destroyed, I fall backwards onto my back. I give in to my hysteria, no longer able to hold it in, sobbing. I lie there for some time, weeping in my own madness.

My eyes follow the branches as my breath stutters. Every bend, every curve, leading up to the leaves that flow so beautifully in the gentle breeze, allowing little sprinkles of the sun to shine through.

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Damien throws a towel around his neck and takes a deep breath as he walks down the hallway. He reaches for the door handle, about to shower in another room, thinking he did not want to disturb me; but instead he pauses, looking down the hall to his room, the door closed, the daylight shining from underneath into the hallway.

He lets go of the door knob and turns, standing still, pondering if he should check on me. It had been hours since I said I wanted to be alone.

He begins walking towards the bedroom door, keeping his eyes on the knob. As he approaches, he leans his head against the door for any sign of me still sleeping.

"Damien!" He whips his head around to see Morgan standing awkwardly in front of him. He raises an eyebrow at her and turns around fully waiting for her to say something.

"W-what's up...?" She gives him a crooked smile. He furrows his brows at her. She grabs onto his wrist, pulling him away from the door. He rips his hand away from her and she swiftly, switches sides with him, now closer to the bedroom than him. He rolls his eyes. "Get out of my way Morgan." He says with frustration as his lips move into a frown. "I-I, uh..." He pushes her aside before she is able to finish her sentence.