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Chapter 11

I suddenly remembered that I've gotten 100s on every book report that Miss Malone had assigned in the three years that I've been in her class, and I felt a little more confident.

Once everyone's book report was in Miss Malone's hands, she started to talk again. "Don't forget that your second pair book reports are due in April!"

I let out a sigh of relief. Boy, was I glad I started 1984 early.

I heard Ashton mutter something beside me. "Our data for a science fair projects are due Friday," he said.

Fuck.

✘✘✘

"Lucas! How are you?" Mrs. Velasquez asked me.

"It's just Luke," I said under my breath. "I'm okay, Marisol. What about you?"

"I'm good. Betsy's here today, so she can keep my company while Joel's working with the kids for the recital. Speaking of which, are you going to participate in the Christmas recital, Lucas? We haven't heard you perform in such a long time."

"Aw, Marisol, you know I'm too shy to perform in front of people," I gushed.

Mrs. Velasquez slightly pouted. "Such a shame. You're such a natural when it comes to the piano, Lucas. I was just hoping... And you could have played guitar as well..." She shook her head, dismissing the thought. "Oh, well. You can go the keyboard in the back of the auditorium—that's where you always practice, right?"

"Um, about that," I drawled out. Mrs. Velasquez turned and looked at me expectantly.

"What is it, Lucas?"

I sighed. "I'm not sure if I will be able to take music classes anymore."

Mrs. Velasquez frowned. "Why not?"

I sighed again. "It's just that... Well, you know I'm a senior in high school, and first semester is almost finished. Second semester starts after that, of course, and that will mean lots of tests, and finals, and not to mention graduation. I'll be really busy, and I'm not sure if I can fit music into my schedule anymore." Plus, I'm planning on committing suicide in the soon future. I can't go to music class dead.

"Oh," Mrs. Velasquez said sadly. "I understand, Lucas. Good luck in school."

Soon enough, I won't be able to attend school. "I hope to see you around, Mrs. Velasquez."

I walked out the door and I didn't look back. That's when I threw my passion for playing piano and guitar right out the window.

✘✘✘

It was almost the middle of December when I realized I haven't talked to Calum since early November. The last thing I told him was that I liked Rylee. I don't know why I haven't talked to Calum. I just didn't. I found no reason to. I missed Calum, I really did. I missed the sound of his voice, I missed his face, I missed his laugh, I missed his jokes, I missed him obsessing over Supernatural... Hell, I even missed his sexual comments about Leigh-Anne Pinnock, and I always complained about those (not that I disagreed; Leigh-Anne Pinnock is a queen). I really missed Calum in general, but I just couldn't find myself to talk to him. I don't know why.

Liz and I sat in silence at the dinner table, eating some grilled chicken that she prepared. I could tell Liz was feeling awkward and need to talk, but I didn't mind the silence. I didn't like talking to Liz. Usually, when my parents were home, my parents would chat with each other. I would be like a decoration, I was just there. But tonight, my father was working a night shift, leaving Liz and I alone.