A Bitter Cold Summer

One

"Expectation is the root of all heartache." -William Shakespeare

    A lot of people grow up to hate their home town and the first thing they want to do is leave it. Might be too "boring" or "everyone knows everyone" whatever reason a majority of people can't wait to leave. I was the exception. I loved my hometown. Morris was small and everyone did know everyone but you knew you were safe and that if anything happened you had people to help you out. Morris was slowly expanding as new neighborhoods, strip malls, and fast food places are being built but it definitely still had it's small town vibes. Morris was also driving distance to three big cities so there was no excuse to be bored. My friends and I would drive to one every weekend as the parties were better and there was a lot more to do. Lately though I've been making trips to one particular city for a completely different reason.

Lockridge has the best cancer hospital in the state and that roughly thirty minute drive to Lockridge Health has became a drive that I despise. 

When the news struck about my mothers cancer two years ago I didn't know how to react. I first went into denial, there was no way my mom, my rock, my best friend, and the strongest woman I know had cancer. I couldn't believe it and I refused to at first. 

But after seeing my father sitting at the kitchen table by himself, completely heartbroken, I became full of sympathy for him. My dad was truly in love with my mom. If my mom joked my dad laughed and he laughed hard at every single one. If my mom was happy, he was happy. If she was sad he was always there to comfort her. Everything he did was for my mom and he practically lived for her. Their relationship is the number one reason I believe in true love. I know the thought of losing her killed him inside. 

 That's when I realized that I too could lose her and that thought, well, it broke my heart. I made a promise to myself to always be there for my mom. This included going to all her doctors appointments, spending time with her and never missing a Sunday movie day. I kept that promise the last two years. 

And now it was summer, more importantly, the summer my last summer ever before college. I've dreamed of this summer being the best summer ever since I started high school. I since then have created a bucket list and I already crossed one thing off. Getting a job at Harry's Diner.

Everybody ate at Harry's. The elderly came in the mornings for the breakfast specials, everybody for dinner & drunks and teenagers with nothing better to do ate at night. Because do you know what taste better than Waffle House at odd hours of the night? Harry's Diner. I grew up going to Harry's and I loved the place. It absolutely completed my love for Morris. I got hired in right after I turned 16 and I still to this day love my job and the people I work with hold a special place in my heart.

The rest of my bucket list is just dumb things to do with my friends Lil and Jake. 

 Jacob, is my definition of perfection and he was for a very long time. When he asked me out the end of my sophomore year I was ecstatic. I freaked completely out and destroyed my closet a dozen times. I thought I had to look perfect for our first date. I even drove to the biggest mall, 25 miles away, to buy a brand new outfit.

The day of our first date also was the day my family found out about mom's cancer. I ended up being completely late for the date and showed up in what I was wore to the hospital; sweatpants and a T-shirt. I also had looked like complete shit from crying for two hours straight. 

I wasn't going to go on the date and the amount of excuses I had lined up to tell Jacob was unbelievable. I wanted a few weeks to process it before I told anyone that my mom had cancer. I also didn't want to stand him up so I made up a story on why I looked the way I did and was fully prepared to lie to him straight to his face. But when I walked into Harry's Jacob didn't even look twice at what I was wearing or how puffy my face was he looked me right in the eyes and said "Hadley, you look beautiful." And then I broke into tears and told him everything. This was the day I slowly began to fall apart and Jacob began to catch every piece of me.