Faethfully Yours: Unbound

Chapter Fourteen

I fisted his robe, wanting him away, yet I drew him closer.  "Tell me that you hate me for what I’ve done, please. Or make me hate you, because I can’t take this guilt. Tell me that you killed Gwin, that you branded her because you wanted to and not because you were forced to. Tell me that you came back because you had to, because of duty and not because you love me.”

He slid a hand behind my neck, the other brushing damp hairs from my cheeks. I should have moved away. I didn't deserve his touch, or his love. I couldn’t. 

The mattress dipped as he shifted closer. “I can’t say that I killed her, because I didn’t. I can’t say that I branded her because I wanted to, because I didn’t. But I can tell you why I came back. Yes, I did come back because I had to." His lips a breath away, he confessed, "Yes, I came back because of duty.”

A moan left me before I could cage it in my throat. I shut my eyes as the pain of his words. Something I always knew, but never expected to hear from his mouth.  Around me, the room grew smaller and conspired with the blankets that suddenly felt as if suffocating me. They twisted around my legs as I tried to kick them off, as I tried to get his hands off of me.

Overpowering me, Ivan gripped my wrists and pinned them down against the mattress. He came above me, straddling me to keep my legs still against the kicking.

“Damn it, Charlotte! Yes, I came back because of duty—because as the man that loves you, it is my duty to protect you, and I didn’t! I failed you. I failed to protect you from the most important thing: yourself. I should have been here—“

“No! You are not doing this, let go of me, let go of me,” I cried as his eyes darkened to a grayish black, and he dug his fingers deeper into me. Not to hurt me, this I knew. But to hold me still as he declared,

“I am not letting you go. I am here and I never should have left. It burns me to know he touched you, that he kissed you. It kills me to know that you let him. I wish I could hate you—I should hate you for betraying our trust, for not waiting for me. Why didn’t you wait for me?” He shook his head as if to rid the pain away.

Releasing my hands, he cradled my neck and drew closer to my lips with manic whispers. “Come hell or come Xanthus, Charlotte, I am not letting you go without a fight. And I will be here until the moment Maris is out of your body and you can choose with a clear mind and clear heart who you want to be with. No, I may not know your favorite color, or your favorite food. But what I know is that I love you. Regardless of being forced together by fate, I have loved you in life and in death and will die again for you. I swear to you I will.”

Before another word, he gathered me in his arms and kissed me. As tears spilled from my eyes, he swallowed every sob. As my walls crumbled, he absorbed every tremble.  Not wanting any more secrets, I opened every ounce of my soul for him to navigate. The way Kheelan kept me out, I allowed Ivan in, to the point I could no longer differentiate our heartbeats, our bodies, or thoughts. In face of every memory—of every indiscretion with Kheelan, Ivan kissed me still.

There was a world to save. There was a veil to protect. But to save them, we had to save our love first. Come hell or come Xanthus, come Maris with rains of fire or Kheelan with promises and lies, we surrendered to each other. And through tears of regret and forgiveness, I loved him, and he loved me. It was this love, this manic, crazy love that ignited a flame in my blood that burned away all of my sins.

We didn’t sleep after. We just lay in complete quiet, enjoying the sounds of each other's breathing. Curled at his side, I fiddled with a small vial that hung on a chain from his neck. It was filled with a burgundy liquid that looked very much like blood. I’d thought to ask what it was, but instead rolled it between my fingers as I got lost in thought, replaying each of his words in my head. I was determined to commit every syllable to memory.