A Beautiful Brain

chapter 12

Finn was sitting in his car in front of Rachel's place. He wanted to drive away, but he needed a minute to clear his head. Had he done the right thing for once? Would that be what was best for Rachel? Well, at least he gave her the choice here. If she wanted to talk to him, she could always come to him. He had so much hoped she would. 

But most of all, he just hoped he made the right decision for once. “Well, you were bound to make a good decision some time”, Finn muttered to himself aloud. 

“Good decision?”, he thought to himself, “Did you not hear Rachel just now?”. But deep down, he knew he did the right thing just now. He messed her up two years ago and he messed her up earlier that night… but now, he made the right decision… he hoped. 

“Just give me a sign, okay. Anything”, he softly said. He didn’t know to who. He turned the radio on and listened to the words of the song. 

It was a Monday, when my lover told me,
"Never pay the Reaper with love only."
What could I say to you except "I love you", 
and "I'd give my life for yours."

I know we are.. we are the lucky ones.
I know we are.. we are the lucky ones.
I know we are.. we are the lucky ones, dear.

Remember the time we made love in the roses?
And you took my picture in all sorts of poses!
How can I ever get over you, 
when I'd give my life for yours 

I know we are.. we are the lucky ones.
I know we are.. we are the lucky ones.
I know we are.. we are the lucky ones.
I know we are.. we are the lucky ones, dear.

My dear,
Its time to say I thank God for you.
I thank God for you in each and every single way.
And I know...I know... I know... I know...its time
to let you know. Time to let you know. Time to
let you know. Time to sit here and say:

I know we are.. we are the lucky ones.
I know we are.. we are the lucky ones.
I know we are.. we are the lucky ones.
I know we are.. we are the lucky ones, dear.

We are the lucky ones, dear... 

When the song finished, Finn felt a little better. He didn’t know why, but he did. He gave one last glance to Rachel's place and then drove away. 

“She’s not exactly capable of that right now”, Rachel heard Santana say from inside her room. 

“Yes she is! Don’t you get that? She’s hurting and she has aphasia, but that doesn’t mean that she’s an infant. Stop treating her like one”, she heard Puck shout. 

“Do they have any idea how amazingly loud they are?”, Rachel thought. Puck was right when he said she wanted to make her own decisions. She didn’t want to have her entire life controlled by someone else; not even Santana. She sighed as she thought to herself how incredibly ungrateful she sounded to herself. It’s not like she didn’t appreciate what they did for her, but now she wanted to figure things out herself. She needed them for such a long time, but the thing was, she didn’t want to need them. 

Puck understood. Why didn’t Santana? True, Puck had become like a brother to her, but hadn’t Santana been best friends with her for her entire life? Shouldn’t she know? 

“I’m not treating her like an infant, you bastard. I’ve known Rachel my entire life and I love her so much it almost hurts. When Finn hurts her, he hurts me too. I don’t want to see her get hurt.”, Rachel heard Santana say. 

Rachel was silent for a second. Well, she had been silent the entire time, but now it seemed like even her thoughts were silent for a second. Santana was in pain too and Rachel never even saw it. Santana had always looked so strong. Sure, Santana had those moments when she would cry when something bad happened to Rachel again, but Rachel never got the impression that it was about something more than just sympathy. 

Rachel decided to not keep it inside and talk to Santana about it. She stood up and walked downstairs towards Santana. “Is she crying?”, Rachel thought. It looked that way. Rachel then saw Santana look her way as she was approaching them and she saw Santana wipe her tears away. 

“Rachel ”, Santana said in a startled voice. 

“You know, y..you two are not exlaccy quiet”, Rachel said. 

“What did you hear?”, Santana asked with a look of shock on her face. 

“Enough”, Rachel said, “Santana … I’m sorry. I…I know this must be painful for you too”, Rachel continued emotionally, taking her time to get out every word right. 

Santana walked up to Rachel and hugged her tightly. “I’m sorry too. I’ve just been trying to make myself feel better here. I’m really sorry Rachel ”, Santana sobbed when they hugged even more tightly; it made them both feel so much better.