That Golden Butterfly {Gaster Sans X Reader}

Chapter 3

"What are you doing here, doll."

He asked in a threatening way, looking down on me like a predator would look down on its prey. I looked around frantically for the tall skeleton who went by the name Papyrus, only to realize he's nowhere to be found. A hitched breath escaped my lungs as I looked at the monster towering over me, his expression of irritation turning into a sickening smirk. He was about to say something, but my savior finally arrived, pulling me away from sudden death. The shorter skeleton still gave me glares as we speed walked to a remote area.

Once we were in our desired place, he was quick to apologize for his brother's behavior.

"I'm really, really sorry about him. He's... Kind of going through some things. I promise, once you get to know him better, he's actually a good guy."

Papyrus stated while rubbing his cervical vertebra.

"No worries. I hope he's better soon."
I responded and waved off the incident as sincerely as possible.

That earned me a small smile from Papyrus as he sat down, motioning for me to do the same. With a semi-silent sigh, I did what he expected of me, taking a seat next to him. A moment of silence passed between us before he looked at me, giving me another smile.

"You know astronomy is a vast subject, so you'll have to fill me in on what you already know."
He started.

"Well, I know a lot about our solar system.. I know a thing or two about stars, I can name a few constellations, I know how to use the star map."
I listed a few things. Papyrus looked at me in awe, seemingly lost for words.

"You know way more than I thought you would."

I didn't know if I should take that as a compliment or as an insult but smiled anyway. Looking up at the starry sky, I zoned out into my own world while all the knowledge I held began resurfacing in my mind.

"For thousands of years, even before we had the word 'astronomy,' us humans have been looking up at the sky. Astronomy is the study of everything that is or was in space beyond the Earth's atmosphere.
We are still looking up because the sky is such a fascinating place and because we are learning more and more about it every day."

Papyrus chuckled and leaned back, his hands supporting his weight.

"Even though the monster race has been stuck Underground, that didn't stop us from exploring our surroundings, our 'stars'. Some even studied old studies of stars on the surface. It always fascinated us how big the world above us is."

I nodded in acknowledgment and extended my dominant hand, reaching for the distant stars and hoping for a better future. I want them to take my pain away. Papyrus was quick to notice the change in mood, so he continued with his recap of all the knowledge we had.

"When you look up at the night sky you are looking at the universe. Everything is inside the universe, even us, and it is impossible to imagine how big the universe is. Not to mention it's expanding every second, adding more unknown and unexplored wonders for us to discover."

"Yeah. The history of astronomy is quite interesting too."

Papyrus' expression lightened and he seemed to listen more closely to me.

"I've had trouble figuring it all out because our recorded progress was so worn out. Can you explain it to me so I can know what we got right and what wrong?"

His reaction to my statement made a small smile appear on my (s/c) face.

"Of course. Long ago people thought that the Sun, and all the other planets, revolved around Earth, which we now call the geocentric model, also known as geocentrism, or the Ptolemaic system.
A scientist named Galileo proved in the 1600's that the Earth and the other planets revolved around the Sun, nowadays referred to as heliocentric system or heliocentrism. He used a special tool called a telescope to look at the sky."

He nodded and put his hand on his chin, lost in thought, probably going through all the received information.

Our small conversation kept going for a while, making us both forget where we were and what we were doing before this. Eventually, I had to say my farewell, because school was a necessity if I didn't want my father knowing my whereabouts.

I made my way to the forested part of the park, the moon was peeking through the space between the trees' leaves. A strange feeling came across my whole being. I felt like I was being followed. The feeling didn't stop, making me paranoid and a little scared. I turned around but saw nothing. When I looked back in the direction of my travel, I was pinned to a tree with a lot of force, making a small whimper escape my lungs.

"I saw you lurking around my brother."
The person spoke. When I regained some of my thoughts back, I could see it was the other skeleton. He had anger written all over his face.

"W-what?"
Was all I could manage to get out of me. He slammed his hand beside my head, giving the tree trunk a dent. My heartbeat increased, adrenaline was pumping through my veins, yet I couldn't move nor speak.

"Listen, human. I don't want you around my brother or any other monster, get it? Or else you'll regret it."
Venom coated his every word, his eye sockets held hate in them. I quickly nodded when I noticed his expression getting angrier. With that, I was free of his grasp. When I got back a little bit of courage, I turned to face him but he was already gone.

While I was walking home, dark thoughts resurfaced my mind. It shifted back to the little event in the morning, where I held that thing in my hands. I wanted to try it. I have nothing to lose anymore. School is a drag, nobody there cares about anyone. My only friend turned against me, just so he could look 'cool'. And just when I thought I was making a friend, that monster had to ruin it for me. I just want for the pain to go away.

I entered my empty home, turned on a few lights and headed straight to the bathroom. 'Where did I put the damn thing?'
I looked around to try and find the razor, but that thing was so small it was really hard to find. In the end, I saw it laying on the cabinet beside the mirror. I didn't know how to do it or what I should do before hurting myself. I positioned my left arm above the sink, my right hand holding the small blade firmly.

I took a deep breath and presses the sharp object against my skin, too afraid to make any other motion. Thoughts came pouring in, bringing all sorts of feelings to my being.
'I'm not important. I don't matter. I mean nothing.'

First slice.

I haven't realized what I had done until I felt a stinging sensation run through my arm.

"Fucking hell!"
I whisper-yelled at the pain I was experiencing. It hurt so bad, yet it somehow gave me the relief of everything that was going through my head. I didn't hear those awful thoughts anymore. With that in mind, I made another swift motion across my left arm, leaving a bloody slice behind. Then another, and another, and another. I wasn't sure how to properly do it. I wanted to feel the stinging sensation, but I didn't want to go too deep just yet. I'd get the hang of it eventually.

I switched arms and did the same, leaving my bloody arms with 20 cuts in total. The ones made with my dominant hand looked better than the other ones. Blood was covering both of my arms, the stinging was overwhelming. I shed a few tears of pain, before pulling myself together and deciding to clean up the mess I've made. I opened the faucet and put it to cold, running the razor under the fresh stream of water.

Without thinking anything of it, I put my right arm under the stream, not expecting the stinging to become stronger. I cursed in pain and jolted back, almost losing my balance.

"Shit! Oh, fuck it hurts!"
I kept repeating, hoping my colorful vocabulary would ease the pain. When I gathered enough courage to encounter the water again, I quickly cleaned up my cuts. The blood just wouldn't stop pouring out, so it was a real pain in the ass to clean up.

After I had managed to clean up the mess, I wrapped up my arms loosely, got ready for bed and went to sleep.