INTROVERT

It's hard...

Life. That's all I can really say, I mean sometimes I get back from school and just want to cry for no reason whatsoever.

Other times....the pain is so bad that all I feel is empty, numb and I crave for somebody to understand me. Family, well they just won't ever get it and say your 'overreacting' when the truth is that they don't realise the suffering you hide behind when your alone. They don't know about the sleepless nights where you are tired but the struggles are overpowering  your constant feeling of fatigue. You don't feel tired but your eyes tell a different story...

You cannot escape this torment so easily, you sleep and it disappears until the whole process starts over and over again after you wake....like your trapped in a nightmare of your own dreaded thoughts but you can't escape this reality...

My mother tells me I'm 'lazy', 'useless' and all I ever do is sleep. But how could I explain to my sweet mother that maybe sleep is the only escape from the prison of life and if I'm too tired to work it ain't at all because I'm lazy to get stuff done. Perhaps, I can't physically form the will in my body to do what should be done people complain all day long to me and I'm sorry...it isn't my fault I simply cannot deal with everything and please everybody...that is truly impossible.

I've thought about it so often, even right now, that I can end all my suffering. It's so simple. But is it.

The truth is I'm too much of a coward to even think about ending it. Yes I am scared. It still hurts tho...

Oh now its time for me lie in bed with my mind a mess, and to eventually escape like a coward through sleep.

Then I will wake up and to put on that fake mask before everybody is witness to the scars I bear. That fake smile I somehow manage to force. The part that hurts is that no matter how much I suffer....nobody would know....if they knew would they even care?!

I'm fine.... My favourite lie to tell when in truth I'm dying inside...

A/N:....k I'm really sorry for this depressing chapter but I just wanted to publish it and yes we all feel like this at times....but if you ever wanna talk im always here to listen...plz comment and vote thank you! <3