Finding Hope; JH

Confession

Y/N P.O.V.

As his hand was resting on my thigh. I felt a lump in my throat as I choked on my words. "Uh-ahem- uhm" I was a stuttering mess and it was like my vocabulary was wiped clean. He looks at my face and sees what control he has over me. A wide bright smile spread across his face "what was that Y/N? You want what?" He snickered. That piece of shit. Hes fucking teasing me. At this point I can feel my body trembling from the adrenaline and fear. "I w-want" my voice cracks and I quickly clear my throat "This" I point to the $9 salad and he just smiles at me. "Are you sure? You had salad last time." He got so... So dangerously close to my face. His minty breath hit my ear and his words were dripping with lust. I kept my eyes on the menu and and I took shallow breaths trying to act as calm as possible. I can feel his eyes examining my side profile and I feel the anxiety creep up again.

I want him to look away. Break contact. But at the same time. I dont want him to stop. Ive never been so flustered. I have never been in this situation, I have never felt so wanted. I enjoyed it but I feared it more. I have no idea what to say. "Mhmm" I manage to hum a response and it came out... Not the way i wanted it to... It came out more as a whimper from my unsteady breaths and I want to fucking run the fuck out of here. His eyes widen slightly and he bites his lip. Im mentally slapping myself and quickly try to calm down. I dont know what to do. Im about to say something so stupid when im interrupted by a small chuckle. I look over and see hoseok smiling so warmly. "Ok" he looks me in the eye with a playfully serious look as I feel his thumb caress my bare skin between the ripped fabric of my skinny jeans. I jump a little and he just laughs again, pulling his hand away. He scoots out from my side of the booth and returns to his own. He shoots me another smile before he raises his hand to call over a waiter.

A short and beautiful woman walks up to our table. "Hi, I'm Sam and I will be your server tonight. Are you ready to order?" She said all of this shit whilst not even awknowledging my existence. She just kept staring at hoseok. I didnt really care, i was insulted but I didnt have a problem. "Yes... Uhm, 2 BLT's pleaseee." He said as he handed her the menu. I got very confused. I tapped his leg under the table and he glanced at me and smiled.

Now she sees me.

Her expression visably dropped and went into a more irritated look. She stared needles into me. "A-are you two here together?" She asks with a strained tone. She sounded like she was getting ready to throw hands and let me just say, I'm almost a foot taller than her and could probably win no problem. I, now a little upset because she has the audacity to be so rude and snoopy, turn and give her my bitch face. "I dont think thats any of your-" "Yes. We are" hoseok interrupts me and gives us both a smile. I back down a little and sink back down into my seat. "Our order please?" I say with an irritated tone. "Yes. Of course" she responds through gritted teeth and walks away bowing.

I watch her walk away and roll my eyes. I turn back to hoseok and he looks surprised. I gulp and try to soften my angry presence. "I-I'm sorry" I say as I stand from my seat. I try to walk past him but his grip lands firmly around my wrist. "What are you doing?" He asks in a concerned tone. "I- just going to the restroom" I respond, trying not to look at him. "Please... dont leave?" He trails off as his hand slips from my wrist. I walk off to the rest room and lock the door behind me. I stand infront of the mirror and I feel a pressure like a ton of bricks fall onto me. My chest starts heaving and I feel my eyes water.

'D-did I scare him?'

I look at myself in the mirror and my stomach starts churning. I feel like im going to throw up.

His face when i looked at him. That moment. It just keeps playing in my head.

I grip the sink, the bandages on my hands begin sprouting small, dark red spots. I'm taking deep, exasperated breaths. 

My eyes wonder down my frame to my legs. The holes in my jeans. The part of my thigh where he had his hand. Then, I can hear his voice again.

"Yes. We are"

The thought of ruining this moment for him starts racing through my brain.
I close my eyes and hold in a deep breath

1...

2...

3...

I let out a long sigh as I look back in the mirror. I catch my breath and my chest starts to level out. I bite back tears before they could fall.

I open the door and walk out. I bump into someone. I bow and apologize frantically. "No, no its ok." The familiar voices says. I look up and see Namjoon. "Oh. Hi." I snap upright and start feeling uncomfortable. "Hey" he says. His eyes a little sad. "Are you alright?" I ask genuinely concerned. He shifts his gaze to meet my eyes and turns a light pinks as a blush spreads across his face "Uhm can I ask you something" he brings his hand up and scratches the back of his neck. "Of course." I hesitantly respond. He clears his voice and glances up and tilts his head to the side rubbing the side of his neck. "Uhm... A-are you and hoseok together?" I'm kind of taken aback by his sudden curiosity. "Like... Dating?" I ask. He nods sheepishly and I laugh out a little. His hand drops and he throws his head back smiling at the ceiling. "No. I dont think so" I say still chuckling. His head snaps back to me "really!?" He asks excitedly. I nod and he laughs.

After standing there for a few awkward seconds I bow and turn to walk away as he spins me back around "Can I give you my number" my eyes widen and I slowly nod. He asks for my phone and i place it in his hands. He put in his number and we exchange goodbyes and I walk back to mine and hoseoks booth. I sit down smiling with my phone in my hand.

He smiles with me. "What is it?" He asks. "Oh... Its nothing" I laugh. "That Namjoon guy from earlier just gave me his number" I roll my eyes playfully and flip my phone down onto the table. His smile faded and his mouth kinda made a "ㅅ" shape. He glances from me to my phone and quickly swipes it from the table. "Hey!" I almost yell. He opens my phone and starts typing something. I get up and go to his side of the booth and he scoots as far as he can from me before being squished up against the wall and hes still typing something as he curls down, blocking my view with all of his body. I... I dont even know what to say. I poke his sides and he lets out loud laughs from his little ball and he still has my phone. I keep poking him. Im like, on my knees on the cushioned booth seat. Finally, I spin him around and we're wrestling IN THIS RESTAURANT over my phone and somehow we end up in a very awkward position. Me straddling one of his legs as I'm leaning over him, one hand on the wall and the other fighting him for my phone. He sits up quickly and his face almost smashes into mine.

"Here you go" he says out of breath as he hands me my phone. We both look down at what we looked like and I felt myself catch on fire. I try to waddle off of him when i feel his arms wrap around my waist. I look down and see his head resting on my abdomen. "I'm tired" he sighs. I feel like I'm going to explode from embarassment. I-I dont fucking know what to do??? I hesitantly bring my hand up and slowly run my hand through his hair. "Me too"

Soon he lets me go and I crawl away from him, returning to my side of the table. My face still burning. He just smiles at me. I inspect my phone and try to find what he did. I look in my contacts and see "💕🔒Hoseok🔒💕" my eyes widen and I look up at him.

"Y/N... I-I can't stop thinking about you." He clears his throat. I feel butterflies fluttering in my stomach and a tightness building in my chest.

"Will you be mine?"