Fake ➢ CAKE

entry thirty - three

07/08

We finally know now why they gave us your flannel, Luke.

A piece of paper was inside one if it's pockets. And it was no doubt, torn off from this journal I am writing on right now.

That is all I have to say, I'll stick the letter here. Just in case you wake up and you'll see it and we'll live happily ever after and just laugh it off and me, you, Calum and Ashton will be back together as the happiest band ever-

Or just maybe so we'll keep it in memory.

Living happily ever after seems too impossible in reality.

Especially for you, Luke.

=

+ entry twenty - four +

06/20

Dear Calum,

I don't know why I'm writing again when I already wrote for the day but-

Fuck everything, I wanna die. I wanna kill myself. I wanna be in peace already and not living in this fucking cruel place we call Earth.

But why can't I bring myself to do it? Why can't I just stab myself or slit my throat right then and there? Why can't I just drink all those pills I bought so maybe I can die less painfully.

Why is my body betraying me?

No one cares, so why bother wondering if anyone would notice my absence? I doubt anyone would care even if Michael and Ashton or you would cry out. The fans already left, for god's sake. My family never contacted me after they heard the news that I quitted. No, they were disappointed. Too disappointed to even acknowledge me and my existence anymore.

The thought of trying to do it myself is too impossible. But I'm desperate. I'm desperate to leave. For good.

And what the best other way than asking someone to do it rather than yourself?

I'll leave this journal on your doorsteps, Calum. But the page, I'll keep. I don't want any more saving.

Michael and Ashton, stay happy together.

Calum, if you ever get ahold of this somehow,

I wish you could help me still.

I love you.

=

btw since im one of many self promo sluts, i have a new story and it's muke and titled sinners

and maybe you all hate me bc this entry is so short and shit or maybe i just made you cry goodbye.

- Sammy