Can I hope this is an illusion?

Chapter 1

I know words can be simple,so beautiful...but in that moment what I knew words could be seemed like a mere fantasy of my own making...

In that moment I had fallen for him countless times only now to be shattered by those words.I had been in a simple conversation with the one I fell for only for it to change in seconds."Do you hate me that much?"I asked as I slowly started dreading an answer I hoped would not slip."Yes..."was his only answer,so cold,so serious.It was a word that could be beautiful,something you want to hear,but not now as I felt my heart shatter like glass.I looked,scanning a sign,just one...a piece left of the person I thought I knew.My search failed as felt like I was sinking in a dark pit that was something impossible to climb out of.The lively eyes I once knew now cold as I as it froze the soul left in me.Then the blonde hair warm as day now left my heart scorched and burned from this torture of seeing this.That familiar person I knew now gone,replaced by the now cold person left.The hope left in me was now trailing down as warm tears running down my now lost hope wishing I could disappear...I wished it was a mere horrible dark illusion.It had to be,but those cold eyes left nothing at all.He continued to act normal as if I was not there at all,like he had said nothing.How could he?Does he not care anymore?I stayed still acting as though I was fading,bound to a harsh reality I hoped was a myth.Closing my eyes,trying not to still picture the darkness that would swallow my soul.I slowly sat down shaking barely able to stand let alone move this empty shell.A close friend of mine mouthed over to me concerned and wondering what had just happened in those mere seconds.I could have answered my heart has been shattered,but all I could manage was a choking sob.I looked back to him,the cold emotionless expression he gave me made me dread what he could say next.One last tear rolled down my now hardened being refusing to have any emotions at all.Like the words before so cold and sharp more were yet to come as I now had them echoing in my soul reminding me of those painful words that I refused to blame him for.I can't.The blood dripping from those cuts I gave as a answer to those words."Why don't you just kill yourself?"This pain,these tears...the complexity of my mind and those unstable emotions and words of his,was something no would be able to handle.This is my answer...happy now?...Ash....