Reading the Regency

Forms of Address - part 2

"The progress of the friendship between Catherine and Isabella was quick as its beginning had been warm, and they passed so rapidly through every gradation of increasing tenderness that there was shortly no fresh proof of it to be given to their friends or themselves. They called each other by their Christian name, were always arm in arm when they walked, pinned up each other's train for the dance, and were not to be divided in the set."
[Chapter 5, Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen]

This contrasts with Catherine's relationship with Eleanor Tilney. Even though Catherine spends time with Eleanor in her own home as a guest, Austen doesn't explicitly show them using each other's Christian names until the moment Eleanor is forced to ask Catherine to leave.

Male Friends

Two men, who had known each other throughout their lives and were as close as brothers, might rarely call each other by their given names.

William Harness was described by Lord Byron as "the earliest and dearest I ever had from the third form at Harrow to this hour." Although he frequently addressed him in letters as "My dear Harness" he also, at least once, signed off at the end of his letters with "My dearest William, yours..."

"The calling of people by their Christian or surnames is a proof of affection as well as of hatred. They are generally the best good fellows with whom their friends take this sort of liberty. Diminutives are titles of endearment. Dr. Johnson's calling Goldsmith "Goldy" did equal honour to both. It shewed the regard he had for him. This familiarity may perhaps imply a certain want of formal respect; but formal respect is not necessary to if it is consistent with cordial affection."
[The Edinburgh Magazine and Literary Miscellany, Volume 82, pub. 1818]

In place of a christian name or surname, a Nickname or diminutive name might also have been used by very close friends, like that given to Sir Lumley Skeffington, known to his friends as "Skeffy".

Richard Brinsley Sheridan, the writer, was called "Sherry" by some of his friends, including Lord Byron.

John Jackson was a famous boxer of the time, known as "Gentleman" Jackson. He was another old friend of Lord Byron, who in his letters frequently addressed Jackson as "Jack", which could have either been a nickname taken from his surname or a diminutive of his Christian name:

"My Dear Jack, — You will get the greyhound from the owner at any price, and as many more of the same breed (male or female) as you can collect."
[Letter from Lord Byron to John Jackson, 12th December 1808]

Using Surname alone as a form of address

"My Dear Moore,—If you please, we will drop our former monosyllables, and adhere to the appellations sanctioned by our godfathers and godmothers."
[Letter from Lord Byron to Thomas Moore, 11th December 1811]

Throughout the 19th century, gentlemen regularly dropped the formality of "Mr" and addressed friends by their Surnames only. This was by far the most common way that men used to address other men of equal status with whom they were well acquainted.

The letter shown above was the first time Byron had addressed Thomas Moore by his surname. As previous letters written by him had begun with the more formal "Sir..." this might be considered, on Byron's part at least, to be extending the hand of friendship. Byron later described Moore as: ""a delightful companion, gay without being boisterous, witty without effort, comic without coarseness, and sentimental without being lachrymose."

Surnames were not only used between friends. Even among family members, gentlemen's surnames were frequently used as forms of address. Lady Catherine de Bourgh used both her nephews' surnames when calling to them during their stay in Kent: