One Year of You and I

December 25th

  Thursday, December 25th, 2013

Holly

    If the taste of hot chocolate and candy canes, the smell of pine trees, the sound of bells, and the feeling of being embraced by family could be described in one word and one word only, that word would be Christmas. 

  Olive had woken up at seven in the morning and had ran into my room, jumping on top of me and shaking my shoulders violently. Any other day, I would have been pissed beyond pissed. Today, I woke up eagerly and bounded out of bed. Like young girls, with our just-out-of-bed hair, we ran to our mother’s room, only to see that she wasn’t in her already-made bed. We ran down the stairs, seeing that she was standing at the bottom of the steps already, the camera in her hand, snapping a picture of us once we reached the last step; catching our surprised and excited freshly-awoken faces. 

 We all made ourselves cups of coffee and sat by the lit Christmas tree, opening the presents that we had given each other. Olive and I had gotten our mother a silver charm bracelet, which we had purchased the day we had gotten my dress, with four charms; an O for Olive, H for Holly, T for Tanya, and F for family. We had also gotten her a new photo album, a note saying For all the memories to come on the front. Olive had gotten new clothes from my mother that only she could pull off, as well as a coral-colored raincoat for her Barthrow trip to London that was coming in the spring, with the addition of money to spend there. I had gotten her some romance novels by an author that she loved. I had received a new pair of white Converse from Olive with a card saying Let’s see how long it takes you to get these dirty ;). My mother had gotten me a record player, a large smile on her face as she saw the one that played out on my own, as well as records from classic rock bands and some indie artists that I liked. It was the most magnificent gift I had ever gotten.

  My mother then came with a box and handed it to my sister and I, who sat side by side. Wrapped in red wrapping paper with images of dancing snowman, it held a tag that read:

 To my favorite girls

I love you both so much

Love, Dad xoxoxo

 It was evident that both Olive and I felt uneasy about the gift. This was the first form of contact he had made with us since leaving. I clenched my jaw as rage boiled within my body at the sight of his crooked handwriting; the familiar letters he used to sign all of my school work with. My mother became pale giving us the gift. Olive and I quickly ripped it open, eager to get it over with.

  Inside, sat a box that held a retro Polaroid camera with three packages of twenty-five-picture film. We both loved it. And we both hated that we did. 

  

 We ate a breakfast of pancakes and sausages and each had another cup of coffee. With this, we all retreated to our rooms to get ready for the day to come. We spent Christmases at my maternal grandparent’s on odd-numbered year’s Christmases, where all of my mother’s side of the family would come for an early dinner.

 I couldn’t help myself when I put on my forest green dress, which still smelled of not only ocean breeze, but the cigar-scent of Luke’s blazer that I had worn. From the moment he had dropped me off at my home, I couldn’t stop thinking of the amazing night that we had shared. I would find myself clasping my hands together, letting my fingers interlace. Holding my own hand hadn’t felt as wonderful as it had felt as he had held mine. The song we had slow-danced to played on my phone on a constant repeat. I would close my eyes, thinking of me clumsily spinning around and crashing into his body. Our foreheads pressed together and my heart beating so quickly and my knees shaky and being aware of my body. Of wanting to kiss him so badly.