Memories Of Yesterday (On-Hold) (Editing)

Chapter 5: Bad Things *Edited

August, 11, 2019, 9:01 am

"There is a question everybody always asks me. Why? They ask why there is pain and suffering? I can never answer that. You just have to trust God's plan. And for that, you need faith. Sometimes bad things need to happen so you can change and grow. God does everything with intent. God is not the cause of pain and suffering."

"When bad things happen you can let it destroy you or you can let it strengthen you. What would you think of a doctor that lost his patient because he was unwilling to give them the necessary but unpleasant treatment? God will put something in front of you that you aren't capable of handling. He does that so you can lean into him because he can handle it. If we can ask 'Why?' about all the bad things, we should ask 'Why?' about all the good things."

God has a purpose for your life and you won't achieve that purpose unless you become uncomfortable or go through change. Everything is a process. How much he cares for us, we will never understand. So trust in the plans he has for you. If you do that, you can begin to heal."

"Bad times never last, but find joy in the sorrow. Healing doesn't mean the bad times never existed, it just simply means the damage no longer controls our life. Healing isn't just a matter of time it is also a matter of opportunity. A scar may be left behind but it is a sign healing has occurred."

"There is something I want you to take from all this. Trust. Rest in the truth that he knows what He is doing and our human minds cannot comprehend His ways. Trust in God's plan for your life.  Healing can take time, though in the end you will have Perfect Peace. God has you. If you're lost God will find you. He will always be with you. Trust him."

"I want to pray for everyone in here who is going through a hard time and is asking 'Why?' I want to tell you He is here and allow him to guide you. Let's pray."

And we did. There, I was surrounded by people who didn't know me, but already loved me so much. I received many hugs, many "I love you"s. It made me wonder, is God's love like this. So unexpected, but so welcoming and treasured.

I can't explain what came to life inside of me. I was free. I was full of joy. I knew without a doubt I was loved. I belonged. I was a part of a family. The Body of Christ.

Before I could leave Mother Helan grasped my hand. She had sat with me the whole service, a beam of support that she knew I needed, even though she knew me not. I looked into her kind eyes.

"Darling, why don't you come to Bible Study on Tuesday? It would do you some good. Your mom goes, I'm sure she'll take you."

"I'm not sure." I replied.

"I won't let to until you say yes." Mother tells me, a fierce determination present in her eyes.

I chuckled, "Okay."

She gave me a reassuring nod. "I'll see you there."

As I walk away, I know where I need to go.

Knock Knock Knock.

I waited, listening for the familiar tap of his cane.

Kyle answered the door, his cloudy eyes holding a questioning gaze. He look tired, bags under his eyes, his t-shirt and blue jeans disheveled, as if he had been sleeping.

"Can you show me her?" I immediately blurted out, curiosity getting the better of me.

"Simone?" Kyle muttered, a look of surprise showing on his face.

"Mm."

"What do you need?"

"Me. I want to know who I am."

Shockingly, Kyle knew what I meant.

He pushed the door open wider. "Come in."

May, 24, 2012, 11:09 am

"Why do you do this everyday? Guide me through the school?" Kyle asked, walking slowly up the steps, eyes set in a similar direction to where I was.

"I'm just doing it until you no longer need my help." I replied.

"I never said I needed your help."

"You didn't have to." I retorted.

The truth is I don't know why everyday since he fell I've been right by his side to make sure it doesn't happen again. I just found himself walking with him in the days following the accident.

"I'll see you after class." I told him, and walked away.

"Hey."

I turned around, "Mm?"

"Thanks."

Slightly surprised, I answered, "No problem."

That night Lee went home fed her cat, made her own dinner, and settled down for a bit of movie time. A time to relax. Of course, halfway through, Lee fell asleep with her cat snuggled up against her stomach. She has had peace for awhile now. But she didn't know that a certain someone waiting outside, drunk beyond belief, and poised to knock.