Stole My Heart- Snowbarry AU

Chapter 11

A month passed and Caitlin hadn't heard from Barry at all since their separation. There was this growing silence between them, it was awful and it only made her feel worse about herself.

Caitlin knew that she deserved this but she wished that he wouldn't be so silent on her. She wanted for them to at least be able to talk about it and see where it left them. See whether he could maybe ever see past it and move on. She knew that it was a big ask but they had to at least give it a try and if it didn't work out then she would let him go no matter how much it hurt her. She was sure that she could never fall in love with anyone else but she didn't really want anyone else. He was it for her and she always knew that, was there truly any point in searching for someone else? Something else that would never be as good or as loving as Barry.

Caitlin spent much of her time working, it felt like the best distraction from thinking about him and it gave her something else to focus on for a very least a little while. She had spoken with Madison a few times who had given her plenty of sympathy and a shoulder to cry on. They had even watched a few sappy romantic movies together and stuffed their faces with chocolate in their pyjamas, Madison let her cry and was the best friend even though she had her own boyfriend to be getting home to, ironically her new boyfriend was a police officer that she and Barry had double-dated with.

But in any time that she did had to wallow in her sadness, Caitlin tried to stay positive and think of any possible ways that she could get him back. It had only been a month after all and he could still come back, maybe he still needed more time and more space to think and get their heads in the right place. He will call soon, she was sure of it. She just had to keep hope.

One particular night on the first of October was rather cold and Caitlin was definitely missing Barry more than ever. Laying in bed she felt cold and miserable even without any windows open with no breeze and two blankets she still felt cold. She was starting to believe that it was less the external temperature making her feel this way but something inside of her that was caused more by her loneliness.

Not the loneliness of people though. She had been seeing plenty of people all day but loneliness from Barry that was freezing her insides. All she wanted on a cold night like this was to snuggle up in his arms and fall asleep beside him. She often wondered whether he missed her too. Whether he wanted her to fall asleep beside him too or is she just over thinking everything?

Perhaps missing him was making up all sorts of silly stories in her head. For all, she knew he could have already met someone else and could be already happy with her. Her. Caitlin hated the sound of her. Barry was hers- or at least he used to be- she didn't want to share him with anyone else. But she didn't deserve him, but then again, who does? She couldn't think of a single woman in the world who truly deserved him. Not really. What he deserved was an angel, an angel that would truly take care of him forever and maybe for a time Barry thought that she was his angel but once again he was proved disappointed and let down by the woman he loved and that was truly what she hated most.

She just wished there was something that she could do, something that could help her gain him back and prove her love. Show him how much she regretted what she had done and that she should have found some other way to spend time with him. Perhaps a way to prove how she could make it up to him and they could make it through this and come out the tunnel happy and as a couple. But Caitlin always seemed to come up blank, nothing seemed good enough for him and nothing, in theory, would seem to work. The only thing that she could truly do was wait for him to make his mind up.

A few times she had tried to text him, typed out a long apologetic message or shorter ones just saying how she wanted to talk and asking whether he was willing to do that, but she could never quite work up the courage to send them. She always just deleted them and tried to forget all about it. Just one wrong move could cause her to lose him forever and although they weren't quite at that stage yet, which she was thankful for, they were still on the verge of breaking up. She couldn't risk that, that was something that meant too much to lose.