November (DRAFT)

XI

CHAPTER XI.
Depression and Candy

Depression is great
if people accuse you
of having something
you don't really have.

- Noel, me

It's crazy how one word; no matter how simple or fragile could change someone's mood in an instant. For some, it was a verb or adjective and others that word was a noun. For me, cigarettes would've changed my mood in a heartbeat.

I would have fingered the box sitting in my back pocket and impatiently waited for the first chance I got to smoke.

Now... now, I didn't want a cigarette. When the word came across my mind it didn't lift my mood, it disappointed me for reasons I couldn't explain. This only annoyed me more when my dad called me into the living room and sat me down for his pep talk.

"You should try lacrosse." Dad said, he was crossing out the sports I've played over the course of time, the blue ink sunk into each word and scribbled out as if they were nothing.

In all fairness they were nothing, for now they were just words.

"Not lacrosse." I said. It had been a few days after my date with Nova. She hadn't contacted me once, not even in school which started yesterday after a week long break and Artemis ignored my presence every time I entered the room.

"How about baseball again? You were the best on the team!"

"No."

"Apollo," his glasses slid off his nose and he rested them on the top of his head. "You don't have any hobby, you never leave the house, and you never talk to anyone."

His point?

"I think what I'm trying to say is..." he trailed off and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands, "I think your depressed."

I grinded my teeth just to keep myself from speaking out words I definitely wanted to say.

The only true point he had was my lack of socialization: I didn't have any close friends. The closest I've had was my family and they didn't know a single thing about me. Then there was Nova... she wasn't close, we only met a few days ago but from what I could gather; she seemed observant.

There could be that chance she knew more about me then I probably knew about myself.

"I think we should try out a therapist." Dad said when I didn't respond.

"I think I'm just fine."

"You used to love baseball, and soccer too." He argued. "Now you don't want any part of them."

"You think I liked them." I chuckled, standing up, but he followed me.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means," I raised my voice. "You don't know a damn thing about your own son."

"What's going on?" Mom walked in, concern written across her face and knitted into her eyebrows.

"Apollo's trying to tell me he hated sports!" Dad explained. "And I told him about the therapist we hired."

"You already hired a therapist?" I snorted.

"Apollo, honey it's okay." She rushed to her husband's side. "You don't have to lie. We all know your embarrassed but it's okay, people have therapists all the time!"

"I'm lying now?" I said and raised my eyebrows with a nod. "Right."

"Just try it out." Mom was pleading now. "If you don't like it then we can always try something else. Maybe we can try medication?"

"Medication." I was shaking my head now.

"We can see your mad-" I didn't take my time to listen to them, instead I ignored their voices and stormed up the stairs.

"Your being childish!" My mom's yell echoed off the walls and up the stairs. A disgusted laugh emitted within my throat but I didn't respond.

"Therapist. Medication. Childish behavior." I muttered closing my bedroom door.

Normally I wouldn't care about those words because they had absolute no meaning to me. Now the sounds were irritating, the vowels made me cringe, and the ring after each word pissed me off. I didn't need a therapist, and I don't think I needed any medication.

I wasn't depressed.

What I needed was good parents who listened instead of hearing the words emitted from my mouth.

If I had those parents, I wouldn't have that slight anxiety that caused me to smoke. Artemis wouldn't be ignored to the point she became an alcoholic, and they would have known I wasn't depressed.

My phone rang, I pulled the object out of my back pocket and studied the lit up screen.

An unknown number printed across its thin screen, every second longer it vibrated. I picked up on the fifth ring and answered cockily, hiding my anger which distinguished little by little at the thought of who the caller could be.

"I never knew people still called each other." I said thoughtfully, hiding the hint of anger in my tone. "Makes me feel like we time traveled back to the 80's."

"Your sarcasm is just too much, I'm half-thinking of hanging up." That feminine voice said, I could sense a hint of a smile on her mouth.

"I'm confident in the fact you won't." The beep of silence told she truthfully did hang up. I sighed and redialed, she picked up almost immediately.

"Yes?"

"Your unpredictable Nova, it makes me uncomfortable. I think we need to stop seeing each other."

"Why Apollo I'm very unpredictable," she said, there was a distinct noise in the background as if she were moving things around. "If I bring you this lack of comfort you speak of, then why did you call again?"

"Curiosity." I said. "You simply bring me curiosity."

"I'm glad I'm such an influence." She said confidently.

"You called me." I said. "What for?"

"To thank you... yet again," she said lamely, "I actually had fun the other day."

"You sound like you doubted it before though," I said, chuckling, "am I that boring?"

"Yes."

"Ouch. That really hurt."

"I'm sure you'll get over it." She said, I could hear her sigh in the phone. "Did you read the book yet?"

"Yes actually, the first chapter... I don't think the monster exists."

"The monster isn't introduced in the first chapter." Delanie inquired. "So, what makes you say so?"

"It's clear she's lost but the greater antagonist is thoughts. The monster resembles the part of her that accepts she will die unfound in the woods."

"Very good Apollo." Nova mused. "Who knew you were so analytical?"

"It appears I am." I agreed.

"I should go, my mom's giving me funny looks." She giggled. "Thank you again!"

I chuckled and hung up the phone, saving her number into my contacts and shoved it into the the back pocket of my jeans.

It's unsettling how just one word could change my mood like a switch. I almost forgot my anger when she called. The image of her smile and the bells in her laugh burned in the back of my mind.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't love her. I wasn't friends with her, I didn't know her. But somehow, she caused that gnawing anger to subside in my chest in a matter of minutes.

It's crazy how one word; no matter how simple or fragile could change someone's mood in an instant. For some, it was a verb or adjective and others that word was a noun.

For me, it was a girl named November.

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AUTHORS NOTE.
Also hate this chapter. Sorry they are going downhill. I'll pick myself up eventually.