march 22, 2013
12:00 am.
dear ashton,
i decided that not seeing you was making me go crazier than i already was, so i went to go meet you at the park last night. i didn't think i could handle seeing you, but when you showed up, it was like just was relieved. knowing you were okay, it made me somewhat happy.
we did what we always do, talk, look at the stars and stuff but then all of the sudden i just broke down. i fucking lost all of my stability and broke down crying.
you comforted me, asking me what was wrong but hell, i didn't even know.
it took a while and i calmed down, my breathing was steady again and you stopped asking to call 911, all was well.
sooner or later it was time for us to go home, but when you asked me if i wanted to leave i said no. i wanted to be here alone with my thoughts for a bit.
so you left and i sat still sat there on that swing and thought about my feelings because they need to get their shit together, that fucking break down was not fun.
but when i thought about my feelings it was you that came to mind. because lately all i think about is you and your messy brown hair and your breathtaking hazel eyes and they way you always make me feel better just by smiling.
honestly, i knew what that breakdown was about.
i think it finally came to me that i could never have you. i will never get to hold you and never get to wake up with your scent on my pillow or your laugh in the middle of the night. i will never get to call you mine.
you never were mine,
and sadly,
you never will be.
forever,
venus
-
damn it venus
YOU ARE READING
venus || ashton irwin
Fanfiction"you are the stars and the sun and the moon and the clouds but you are also the rain and the thunder and the lightning." a story in which a girl writes letters she will never send to a boy she could never love. [book one in the solar series]
