The Crying Game

Chapter Seventeen

~*~*~Tyler~*~*~

You know when they say that you don't know how good you have it until it's gone? It took me more than losing someone to realize that -twice actually.

I still hadn't clued in that I couldn't hold onto that one person with just my looks and cockiness. I mean shit, it's always worked, and it's all I knew. I didn't know what love was or what it meant until I figured out that I that it passed me without even knowing it.

Ever since puberty, things have been great for me. Except for my dad's obsessive ways of making me like him, but the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

I can't remember what the chick's name who took my virginity, I was fourteen, and I have a dick she was obsessed over. When the word spread, I couldn't seem to keep them off of me. Shit, I even took a couple of blow-jobs from a couple of twinks when I felt like it. But even that shit was getting old. I wanted and needed something that I had no clue about.

At first, I thought that something came in the form of Vicki Donavan.

I was a bit obsessed over the fact that every guy wanted her and I was the only one she was chasing. That and the fact it made the other girls more persistent in getting with me. I cheated -more than once. But that's just the shit I always did. I didn't care either because I was always looked at as the bad guy. I figured, why not put up the front if everyone else wanted to treat me like shit.

But then there was Brandon.

Shit.

I didn't know about him until the last couple of years of high school before he showed up on my radar. That was before I became a werewolf, and I started figuring things out.

The first time I met Brandon was through Bonnie, and if it weren't for her, I wouldn't have changed my ways a little. I even started talking to Jeremy Gilbert because Brandon said he wasn't that bad. But even then, shit still wasn't great because Jeremy and I still bumped heads and everyone became more involved, including Brandon.

That's when everything came to light, and I found about the Salvatore brothers and what they were. They were the reason I was showing symptoms, and they were the reason I was more pissed off than I usually was. I hated them. But everyone seemed to ignore the fact that they were killing machines.

I didn't even know in the beginning why I hated it even more than Brandon associated with them, just that I didn't want him near him, especially after they killed Vicki and put everyone else through hell. So I kept Brandon closer than anyone else. I forced him into believing that I gave a damn about him when, in fact, I did. I never knew what it was about him, just that I wanted him close. I needed him close. I tried brushing it off by sleeping around still, hell even dating Caroline just to keep my thoughts straight. But that didn't work either.

I fell for him, and I wouldn't admit it. When the time came where I accidentally killed a girl, I knew my fate, and so did a few others, including Brandon. It was his idea to keep me locked in the cells below the Lockwood estate to keep from harming others, but when the time came and my uncle Mason explained that nothing could hold me back, I sort of made things worse between Brandon and me.

I almost killed him for getting in my way. I hurt several others on the way as well, but nothing compared to how I felt when Brandon refused to talk to me after that. That was until I came begging for his forgiveness when I wasn't even aware of it. I just woke up naked below his window one night, and he let me in. I let my emotions get in the way, and I found myself seducing my best friend.

I was embarrassed over it after that.

I tried to convince Brandon to keep it on the down-low, but even then, I didn't know that he was gay and out of the closet. That and the fact that he was not just a teenage boy in this town either. I knew Bonnie was a witch, but to find out he was one too, it bothered me. I didn't want him to be part of this life of chaos. He didn't deserve it, so I pushed him away.