The Crying Game

Chapter One

I know the tears aren't worth it.

But lately, I've gotten so used to them that I almost forget to stop.

It was enough to worry aunt Tiffany as soon as I arrived here in La Push. It took me a while to find the house, but aunt Tiffany eagerly waited for me on her porch. As soon as she spotted my car she was already waving me down. Yeah, she's still the overprotective slash concerned auntie that she had always been known for.

I guess she had always felt it was her duty to step in as a parent in some way since my folks passed. She would send me gifts on holidays and call me on my birthday and on any special occasion to congratulate me.

The problem was, I never really gave in the same effort.

And here I was, crawling to her for help when I needed it the most. I know she didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve a lot of the things brought to her or given to her in her life. For example, the exemption from my grandmother –her mother, the one woman who was supposed to be there for her no matter the circumstances. But when she birthed a child out of wedlock, grandma Mimi wanted nothing to do with her, and she poured all of her attention out on me –another reason I feel so damn guilty that I'm here when my cousin Embry never had the privileges I had.

Grandma didn't even know his name.

I haven't seen him since we were kids though. The last time my dad brought me here before he died. At least he and mom were accepting -I have the picture to prove it- the one of dad holding me in one arm, and my cousin Embry with a big smile on his other arm. I guess since Embry never knew his dad, mine felt he needed to step in that role somehow.

I didn't mind sharing him though, it kind of felt like I had the brother I always wanted.

But as I said, I hadn't seen Embry for a long time. He could despise me by now. He could be an entirely different person than I had somewhat known him. I can only hope he forgives for practically ignoring him and auntie these past few years.

Aunt Tiffany was quick to welcome and showed me to my room, unpacking and trying my best not to fall apart where I was. I hated how weak I had become. How losing so many people and falling in and out of love can affect a person so much. There were days I just wish I was an ostrich so I could bury my head underground and ignore the world.

The blaring ring of my cell phone brought me back to reality. I already knew who it was since there was only one other person other than my auntie that knew my number. I quickly scrambled across the room to retrieve the loud device from my leather jacket.

"Bon- Bon?" I asked eagerly.

"Hey, BB." She replied with a chuckle. I hated it when she called me that -and she hated it when I called her bon-bon.

"Fine!" I giggled, "hey Bonnie."

"That's better," she replied, "Hey Brandon? I'm guessing you made it there okay?"

"Yeah." I sighed, laying back on my bed. "It's a lot different than Mystic Falls, and a bit gloomier. Aunt Tiffany told me that I had better get used to the constant rain."

"Ugh, sounds depressing."

"Which was the reason I was beginning to question my decision," I said in a shaky voice.

"It's okay Brandon," she said in a comforting voice, "you'll be fine B, I know it's going to be hard, but you'll get through this."

"I just miss you." I wiped the tear that fell down my cheek. "It's kind of hard to adjust when you know you can't even go back."

"I miss you too." She let out a sigh, "I promise when the time comes, I'll come to visit."

"That would be great, it gives me something to look forward to," I admitted.