The Crying Game

Chapter Four

"Not them, but the rest of us," She argued, "well Elena does too, but that's a different story."

"Yeah, the same one that turned off her humanity and almost killed me for trying to help her out," I said annoyed. "She's lucky I wasn't as powerful as I am now... or was then... well you know what I mean."

"Alright, alright, dropping the subject..." she giggled, "but I do miss you. Things aren't the same without my sidekick."

"'Scuse you, Robin." I teased, "I'm the Batman to this gig."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it... but I do miss having you around..." she said before interrupting herself, "... did you find any guys that interest you?"

"No, I haven't really looked." I sighed, "though the guys in the wolf pack aren't that bad to look at, except I'm pretty sure that they're all taken."

"You don't need that type of trouble in your life again anyways." She giggled over the phone, "besides, you need to stop falling for the tough bad guys, I seriously thought it was only the girls that did that, but..."

"Oh shut it, Bon, I know..." I laughed back. "But I have to get back. I'll figure something out."

"I know you will." She assured, "just get to know the dude and let him trust you, that you're only there to help him get through this."

"Yeah..." I paused, "I'll try."

"Love you, Brandon," she said before hanging up.

Talking to Bonnie reminded me why I left and why it was so hard for me to leave. Sometimes I find myself sitting here for hours, thinking and pondering on the thought of what would happen if I returned to Mystic Falls.

Would I be welcomed back with open arms? Or would my life go back to the way it was?

Yeah, none of it was playing out for the best of me.

But yet, what's making me stay here? Is here, where I'm supposed to be? It only seems that everywhere I go, things turn bad and they turn to me to fix it because I'm foolish and too kind to say no.

The pack was desperate, and so was the tribe, I was resistant and Paul was... well I'm not exactly sure how he felt about it by now. Probably annoyed and a bit disgusted. He had a lot of resentment, and at the moment, I couldn't fully understand just how much Rachel meant to him if he knew that this was all steered by an imprint. The more I heard about, the more it disgusted me. I asked the others, and in their eyes, no other mattered to them but their imprints. No being could replace the beauty and grace that their imprint beholds.

To me, it sounded like some witch-doctor holding a spell on someone to make them think they're in love. Probably because I wanted to believe that somewhere out there is love.

It wasn't too long before Sam came to pick me up again, and I knew I would be spending all my energy trying to do what everyone tells me. I keep thinking I could say no, but when they tell me that Paul's life is in jeopardy, I feel guilty and always promise to try my best.

Though I don't understand Paul, and I don't think I ever will. I just met him and I already want to tell him that he's worth the life he's trying to throw away. Then there's the other part of me that feels like walking away from all of this.

I followed Sam back into Paul's house, feeling the heavy energy already weigh me down, like heavy energy pushing down on my shoulders, refusing me to take another step as if my feet are cemented in a concrete block. But, I keep moving. I can feel the emotions already, and as intense as it was, I knew I still needed to enter the room. Sam informed me that they've done everything medical-wise in order to keep him a little sane; the rest was up to me.