See If I Care

Chapter 1

  I'm standing front of the mirror in my bedroom's bathroom. Everything about me was messy. The eye make-up smudged just below my reddish and puffy eyes. The dried tears all over my cheeks. My messed-up hair full of knots. My heart.

"1,2,3 drink." we all shouted. The time passed and the glasses on the table became more and more.

"One more." Claire yelled in my ear due to the loud music.

"No, I had enough. I'm going to find Nick." I give her my drink and she rolled her eyes.

"Okay , just don't get lost, we are leaving in an hour." and she smirked meaningfully.

Sweat bodies were dancing at the rhythm and I was in the mood to dance too but I also wanted to find Nick. I pushed them as I tried to locate him. It's been half an hour and he hadn't came to even find me.

I take off my black little dress and hills and get into the shower.

My patience wasn't enough anymore and I wanted to throw up because of the alcohol. That's what I did after.

I whipped my mouth with a towel and flush the toilet.While I was washing my hands some moans attracted my attention.

The water is cold against my skin but that don't help me not to remember further.

"That's it babe" a male voice said he received more moans from a girl. A male voice like Nick's.

"Cu.m for me." No he couldn't be.

"Yes Nick, like this." Of course he could.

The shower's glass is cold against my back but that cannot help me to stop crying.

Two fucking years I put up with him. Two wasted years trying to change him to better. He seemed to have change. Of course he seemed, he is such a good liar and I was too stupid believing him.

I didn't let sadness take over me but a smile showed up in my face. I filled a bucket, which was near the wash stand and Ι empty it above the door which leaded to them. They uttered a yelp as the water splashed them.

Bitch.

Asshole.

Ι try to forget his touch. Every touch that he gave me while we were intimate, while he was showing his love to me, while he was kissing me, while he was holding my hand. Every single touch. I rubbed so cruelly my body so that his touches would fade away. But there's not reason to keep doing it, they won't fend off , I still feel them.

  As I cried my bottom lip quivered, the same as a baby pushed past endurance. My eyes became glacier blue under the sheen of water, constant, yet allowing the tears to flow without pause. In that moment, in seeing my own reflection I understand the depth of pain that had been sitting below my skin.  

  I have underestimated the cold tonight, not like me at all, and I couldn't run with this load to warm. I was marching but the night air was wicking my heat away faster than my body could replace it. I could turn back of course, but then what if Nick saw me? What then? I left him screaming at the door? No thanks. Right now he was trying to find who destroyed his beautifully intimate session with that bitch , or at least I had no reason to think that he wasn't. The blocks passed in a blur, no-one but me out out tonight.   

3 missed calls from Nick.

12 missed calls from Claire.

5 unread messages from Nick.

34 unread messages from Claire.

I chose to read Nick's first. Don't judge I want to see what he had to say.

▶Where r u? 

▶The party hasn't much fun without you.

▶ Pick up your phone love.

▶ R u serious? Did you leave with no word?

▶ If u go back at the party, don't try to find meeee, I won't be thereee.

With every word my heart shattered. Ι wipe my nose with the back of my hand and I curled up under the blanket, trying to compose myself. My heartache had rung me out until I was dry inside, no more tears would come.

I think I have the perfect reply.

Me: Until the time you left, did your clothes dried? Or you  weren't  wearing any? 

I high five my self.

After that I tap at Claire's messages.

▶Come outside, Alex is waiting us.

▶ I told you not to be lost.

▶Nic you are not inside..where did u go?

▶Are u okay? Nick could't find you either. Are u okay?

▶ Pick up your phone, I called you 1 thousand times.

....

▶ Οkay, now I'm worried. If u are alive please call me pinky paw.

Me: Of course I'm alive idiot. Did u know that Nick was fu.cking a bitch yesterday?

At this moment my bed is my only comfort.

 I lie as if asleep until my side is painful and I must shift to my back or other side. The long minutes drag into even longer hours but I refuse to look at the clock, to see that it is still before midnight or just two a.m. would be enough to send my heart racing and undo the calming effect of being so sad and heartbroken.  

6:48 A.M 

The sunlight beamed through the white blinds, presenting the morning sun against my face  

I'm screwed. 

～～～～

Hi loves,

That's the first chapter. It's 5:59 right now and I'm writting this. Lol, I don't know what to say.

Comment/Vote please. If you did, it would help me a lot.

Much love, 

Konstantina ♡