Breathe || Max X Reader - Camp Camp

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Y/N's POV
Word Count: 1,867

     "Do you know things about Max that I don't know?", I asked.
     David looked confused. "Yes," he admitted. "But it wouldn't matter to this situation. Max is having his own problems to take on, yes, but you don't need to know them unless he tells you."
     "I know," I told him. "I'm sorry I butted in. I'm just worried. He won't open up to me, but I'm scared for him, David. He needs help. I know it. This is bad."
     David stood up. He spent a minute pacing across the counselor's office. "Do you think you might have a little something for Max?", David asked.
     My jaw dropped so far that I thought it might've unhinged itself. "W-What? What does that even have to do with this?", I drilled. "And even if I did, how would that help the situation? I don't like him! I-I don't kn-"
     "You could be what he needs.", David suggested. Why does everyone say that? Neil said something like that, too! "I can't tell you Max's conflict. I can tell you that he needs someone to love him, and I think that person is you. You care about him. I knew it the minute I called you into my little office."
     "How-"
     "To add the 'counselor' title to the 'camp', I had to know a thing or two about child psychology and body language. Plus, I was a kid once, too, kiddo. It's okay, you can tell me.", David insisted. Oh boy. He does know.
     It only made sense to fess up. "Okay, yes, I like him.", I spat. "But he doesn't like me and I really don't even know if I like him all that much. Look, David, I'm messed up. I feel sick, I feel disoriented, I feel disconnected, I don't know what I'm feeling. Look, how about you just tell me about today's camp activity?"
     David plopped back down onto his bed, beside me. "Well, we were going to go kayaking in the lake today to learn about water safety.", David explained. "But, I don't want to make you go. If you don't think you're ready to put yourself back out there yet, I can get Gwen to stay here with you. Or, if you want, I can stay behind. Y/N, I think you might need a little bit of 'you' time."
     After all of this, I just kept thinking back to how everyone treated David. How could nobody respect him? He was an amazing person. Sure, he was a bit eccentric, and just a tad annoying, but he was a good person. "Thank you.", I said. "I think I need to stay behind. You and Gwen can do the activity. I need...rest."
     David nodded. "If you need me, come get me.", he instructed. "If Max wakes up and comes here to ask what's going on, don't be afraid to talk to him. Make sure you tell him I said he didn't have to do today's activity." I nodded. "I'm going to leave now. If you need something, anything at all, get me. I'll sit with you all day if that's what you need. I promise." I nodded. "Goodbye!"
     Before I knew it, it was just me and my little frog, alone in a big room.

Max's POV

     I woke up in my tent. I felt normal. I felt okay. I had an ice pack on my head. I turned to my left to see Gwen. "How are you doing, Max?", Gwen asked me.
     I shrugged. "Fine," I answered. "Where's David?"
     Gwen gave me a very confused look. Which, to be fair, made sense. I normally wouldn't give a shit about David. Now, I don't care about David, but I can probably sweet talk him into getting me out of the camp activity. Gwen rubbed her eyes and yawned. "Check the counselors' place, that's where he last was. He was talking to Y/N about you.", she said.
Me? There's no way she said anything good. Not after all of that, anyways. She has no fucking clue what that was. She's so perfect and happy...she's almost like David, in a way. That must've scared her to death. Shit, and after what happened last night, I need to say something. "Thanks, Gwen." I stood up. For a minute, everything started to spin again. After taking my first few steps as slowly as I could manage, I regained my balance and continued walking.
     As far as I could've seen, everyone was doing some gay kayaking activity. I was praying I wouldn't have to do that.

     Finally. I stood at the door of the counselors' house for a few seconds, and then turned the doorknob. As I opened the door, it was noticeably quiet. Well, it's clear that David's whiny ass ain't here. I still thought it was worth a try to find him. "David!", I called. "David!"
     As I approached David's room, I started to hear faint sobs. Confusing. I pressed my ear against the door, trying to hear more. It wasn't David's man-sobs, it was a girly sob. Y/N, it has to be. Well, what the Hell am I supposed to do now? Just go in then? Maybe I should ask what's wrong? I was never really any good at talking to people. People just sucked. But Y/N didn't really suck. She was very bearable, even when she was sobbing uncontrollably.
     I decided that I was going to go and talk to her. I didn't know why I'd do that, but I just felt like I needed to. As a warning, I knocked on the door a few times. Then, I turned the knob and opened the door. I stepped in and seen Y/N's crying fest.
     I didn't know what to say, but I thought that maybe I'd start the same way I always did. "So, the little shit's back at it again?", I prompted. I wanted to say something to hopefully prove that I wasn't trying to just be a dick. "So...what might it be this time?"
     She hadn't looked at me the entire time. She was snuggled in David's bed with her face buried in pillows. I went ahead and sat down on the edge of the bed. "You know, you don't have to be...afraid, to talk.", I acknowledged. For some reason, Y/N never really liked to talk to me. I never really figured out why that was. "Come on, I'm trying to not be an ass and you're leaving me hanging. Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"
     "Why would anyone give a crap?", asked Y/N through fits of violent sobs. That was the one reply I didn't expect from her. Why would she think like that? "Max, David w-wanted me to say that you-" She paused to sniffle. Y/N was doing that breathing thing where she'd breathe big breaths in small amounts of time through throaty sniffs. "don't have to g-go to the activity."
Nice! I get out of another shitty activity. But, what about Y/N? I still don't know what's up with her. I still couldn't get why I was genuinely concerned about her, but I figured I should just accept it at this point, right? "Why won't you talk to me?", I asked. I huffed. "It's about earlier, isn't it? Look, I'm sorry I scared you, I know you probably haven't seen anything like it before and-"
     "Yes I have, Max!", Y/N lashed out. I quickly stood up from the bed and backed away. "Who do you think I am? What idea in your head do you have about me? I have anxiety too, Max! I'm not a robot! You're not the only person in the world who-"
     "Y/N!", I ordered. I didn't know anything about how to help people, but I could tell that she was overwhelmed and was speaking faster than she could even think. I walked up to her by the bed and knelt down to be level with her eyes. I was careful not to touch her. "It's okay. I'm okay. You're okay. It was a freak accident, and it's okay. I don't know why you're crying, Y/N, there's no need to cry."
     I genuinely felt really bad for her. I couldn't imagine what kind of Hell the experience was like from her perspective. "Max, you don't get it.", she replied. She kept her eyes shut. It was like she was trying to avoid seeing me. Why the Hell is she doing that? "I have problems with anxiety, too. I had panic attacks at one point, too. I had meltdowns." It was like there was something she wanted to say, but she was too afraid to say it.
     I needed a way to make her speak up. I knew from day one she was hiding some serious shit, and this could be it. "You can tell me.", I tried to reassure her. At this point, I wanted to start screaming and kicking things. It was really pulling on me, the fact that she wouldn't talk to me. "If you don't talk to anyone, you're never going to get any better."
     "And I could say the same to you.", Y/N sniffled. Yeah. I guess you could, little shit. "If it really means that much to you," she started. "I had a few flashbacks of what I've gone through, in the mess hall. And, I didn't want to ever think about that again, and I was scared because I didn't think it was fair that anybody would have to go through that. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to help. I just sat there. You were suffering, and I, I was so stupid." I looked down, and back at her. She's blaming herself, that's what's bothering her. And I guess I could combine that with the fact that it gave her stressful flashbacks. "I could've done something."
     I was no good with people. I didn't know what I could've said or done to make her feel any better. So, I just took a stab at something. "There's nothing you could've done.", I told her. It was true. If I, the owner of my own mind and body was powerless, she was too. "It's not your fault that I fainted, Y/N. Neil and Nikki didn't do anything, and it's not their fault, so why are you fucking insisting that you did anything wrong? Because, honestly, in a single day, you've done more than those two could've ever done, combined." Shit. I really just said that. Way to go, genius.
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A/N - Hey there, buddy ole' pal. So, let's talk about last chapter's panic attack. Yes, I know it wasn't 100% accurate to a tee, but keep in mind, everyone has a very unique experience with this struggle. Just because your anxiety attacks are nothing like my version of what Max has, that doesn't discredit what Max had gone through. However, I do agree that Max's anxiety attack wasn't very realistic. It's a fictional drama, guys. Without exaggeration, there's no substance. ☁️