Never Felt Gayer {bxb}

[4]

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🌈Chapter 4🌈
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"I think you are just a narcissistic bastard, mon frère." (brother)

I turned around and faced Ailen, his blond hair was tied up in a messy bun, he had bags under his eyes and his tanned face was covered in sweat, I sighed and released shaky breath, not meeting his eyes.

"Shut up." I mumbled as I ran a hand through my hair, Ailen chuckled and shook his head. He sat on the toilet and stared at me, I ignored him as I washed my face.

"Something's wrong." He stated as his eyes met mine, I shook my head slowly and Ailen sighed.

He untied his hair and let it fall down his shoulders, he looked so much like a girl when he let his hair down--it creeped me out at times. I furrowed my brows and sighed when I looked at my brother--dirty blond hair, ocean blue eyes, tanned face, slim yet fit body. I then looked at my reflection--fawn hair, hazel eyes, tanned face, broad shoulders, fit body.

I bit the inside of my cheek and stared at my brother from the mirror, he raised a brow and tilted his head to the side, his expression changed--from confused to happy--I closed my eyes and thought about how different yet similar we where.

Ailen was one of the most honest people I've met, he was kind and funny, the perfect golden child.

I am a jerk, arrogant, hot headed, childish and jealous. But, I don't like to lie, so I think I'm an honest person too.

"Lex, what's wrong?" Ailen now stood by my side, he put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it lightly, in a comforting way.

I sighed and bit my lower lip.

"Len, I'm gay."

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"I just find it funny that you are making a huge deal out of it." Ailen put both his arms behind his head and stared at my ceiling, I groaned and ran a hand through my head.

"It is a huge deal for me, Len." I sat on the edge of my bed and covered my face with my hand, I sighed. Arms wrapped around my torso and a head rested on my shoulder.

"Don't worry, okay? Honestly, I don't think papa will mind." A weak chuckle escaped my lips as I imagened papa's reaction, he would shut his damn mouth in a while, saying how proud he was and how brave I was for coming out.

"Do you think mom will mind?" I said after a comfortable silence, Ailen nodded his head against my back and hummed in agreement.

"Don't see why not." He mumbled softly, I raised my head and stared at my ceiling, I closed my eyes and sighed.

"What about Chloe? Do you think she'd mind?" Ailen got silent and I know he was speechless, I felt it, he still couldn't forgive mom for doing that to papa, neither do I. But, I learned to let it go and to think of other things.

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After being married for five years, mom arrived home and told papa she was pregnant. I remember papa's expression, a huge grin formed on his face, his face became bright and he ran to hug mama.

"I'm sorry, Andre."

Mom whispered as she stared at the floor, her fawn hair fell down her shoulder, covered her face. She bit her lower lip and said nothing, she kept quiet, everyone did. Ailen and I stared between mom and papa, waiting one of them to say something but neither did--Papa to sad and disappointed and mom too ashamed and embarrased.

Papa's expression changed completely, he finally understood what she meant. Tears clouded his eyes. He wrapped his arms around mom's shoulders and pulled her to his chest, he kissed her hair and blinked away his tears.

"Ça va, mon amour. If he makes you happier, I'll respect your decision."
(It's alright, my love.)

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"I don't care about fucking Chloe and fucking Harry." He spat, I stared at my brother and sighed, I ran a hand through his hair and began combing it with my fingers.

"You really need to let go, Len." I whispered while I stood up and walked over to my bean bag and sank into it.

"Doesn't change the fact that she's a bitch, Alex." Ailen raised his voice, he sat on the edge of my bed and stared at me, his eyes bored into mine.

"Len--"

"If she really loved papa, loved us, she wouldn't have cheated with the first guy she saw. She shouldn't have married papa if she wasn't into "older men"! You know I'm right! She's a heartless bitch, she doesn't care about us anymore, SHE DIDN'T EVEN LOOK BACK WHEN SHE LEFT!" He crossed his arms in front of his chest, he raised his chin and stared down at me, he looked superior. Ailen tried to stay strong and to pretend he wasn't hurt but I knew him. He's my brother, his facade didn't foul me.

I stood up and walked over to him, lifted my arm and pat his head with my other arm I pulled him close. I felt cool tears on my shirt, I moved my hand up and down Ailen back.

"Shh...it's okay."

Sent to: Papa. From: Me

Papa, I've got to tell you something.

It's important.