A Loveless Marriage

Chapter 6: Mary

   "We need to talk," he said as he sat down on the only chair in the room.

Hesitantly, I sat on the edge of the bed and then tried to fix him with a haughty glare. He looked around the room disdainfully, his attention was momentarily caught by the hole in the ceiling before he finally rested his gaze on me.

  "So this is where you are living," he said with obvious disgust.

  "How did you find me?" I asked.

  "I asked around the cabbies," he said then frowned slightly.  "I was worried about you."

 "Well as you can see, I am perfectly fine."

He snorted in reply which annoyed me immensely.

  "You are living in hovel," he said.

  "I am living within my means," I said.

My last sentence caused a flutter behind those calm eyes of his, I do not believe a man like Frederick Wilkes knew what leaving within one's means meant. Better to stiff the tailor and cadge off friends than to make the slightest economy.

  "I think you enjoy the misery," he said at last.

  "I beg your pardon?!" I said angrily.

  "I don't know quite why but I think you are staying here as some kind of penury," he said. 

His shrewd blue eyes narrowed as he watched my reaction, from the tense clasp of my hands to my burning cheeks.  For the first time, I appreciated that he was more perceptive than I gave him credit for before.  It was not quite true that I enjoyed the misery, but perhaps it was something I felt I deserved.  

  "You do not have to live this life," he said softly.  "You have an escape."

  "By marrying you?" I rolled my eyes.

  "Would that really be so terrible?" Mr Wilkes smiled.

  "Yes," I said.

"Why?  You could just look as another position as a companion," he said shrugging his shoulders. "But instead of dancing on attendance to some cantankerous old crone, you'd have a charming young man to fuss over."

  "But I would be married to a man I could not love or respect," I said.

"Love?  Is that what you want?" he asked.

"No! Love is the last thing I would ever want from you or from anybody," I said vehemently.

Love came with the pain of betrayal, I would not feel its sting again.  Love made wretches of the most headstrong women and the man in front of me shattered hearts for his own amusement.  He looked a little taken aback by the bitterness of my words.

  "Well love is not high up on my list of priorities either," he said.

  "No, clearly money is all you care about," I said crossing my arms.  "Just contest the Will in court."

 "I want to respect my Uncle's last wishes," he said.  "Clearly he wanted us together and I think I understand why now."

The sincerity of his beautiful eyes threw me off guard, he was usually so flippant but at that moment there was a seriousness in his face that seemed honest and true.  There was a slight vulnerability beneath his usual arrogance and I felt my attraction to him growing.  He reached in his pocket, pulled out a bundle of letters and placed them on the bed beside me.

  "My uncle's letters," he said.  "I've been reading them to understand why he chose you."

A sickness grew in my stomach, as I wondered how many of my family secrets were contained in those letters.  There had been a regular correspondence between George Cosgrove and Papa since before I was born and even in my father's final days he still wrote to his dear friend in tortured, feeble scrawls. I swallowed deeply and look into the clear blue eyes of Frederick Wilkes, if he knew all my secrets then he did not let on.