Almost, But Not Quite (COMPLETED)

Chapter 50

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I was supposed to be really happy today. Kasi mag-aaral na ako. I was about to take the first step towards reaching my dreams... pero bakit ganon? Mas lamang iyong hirap at lungkot sa dibdib ko.

I was supposed to be with him today. He was supposed to accompany me while I enroll...

So many plans.

So many promises.

All of them broken.

"Kaya ko na," sabi ko kay Kitty. Nagpupumilit siya na samahan ako para kuhanin iyong mga credentials ko sa SCA. Alam ko na marami din siyang kailangang gawin para sa law school, pero ayaw niyang pumayag na iwanan akong mag-isa.

Umiling siya. "I want to be here," she said. "I'll accompany you all day, okay? Hanggang sa matatakan ng enrolled 'yang form mo."

Hindi ko mapigilang mapa-ngiti. I knew I was lucky to have friends like her—who got my back no matter what. Who'll always lend a helping hand; who's always ready listen even when no one's willing to talk.

Agad kaming pumunta ni Kitty sa SCA. Habang naglalakad kami doon, hindi ko mapigilang sumikip ang dibdib dahil parang nakikita ko kaming dalawa ni Psalm. I could see us while we were walking side by side. How sometimes, I'd watch him jog around the oval. How he'd always accompany me to the cafeteria when I was hungry. How he'd walk me to the car park when it's already dark.

He's just everywhere.

I could see him everywhere.

"Huy..." Kitty said, elbowing me. "Umiiyak ka na naman."

Agad akong napa-hawak sa pisngi ko. Hindi ko napansin na umiiyak na pala ako.

"It's gonna be fine, Joey. Not now, pero someday. Alam mo? Naniniwala talaga ako na kapag para sa 'yo, para sa 'yo talaga. Baka 'di lang talaga ngayon, alam mo 'yun? Maybe this is destiny's way of saying na kailangan niyo muna mag grow up para kapag right time na, mas okay na kayong dalawa."

Alam ko naman 'yun. But why couldn't we grow together? Why couldn't we be together while we're trying to figure our shits out? Bakit kailangan na magkahiwalay kami?

I hate wasted time.

Time we could've spent together.

"So while you're trying to figure your shit out, go get that medical degree. Be a doctor. Chase your dreams. Because if it's really meant to happen? Trust me, it will happen."

Nagpunta kami ni Kitty sa registrar para ayusin iyong forms ko. Habang nag-aayos kami, sobrang bigat pa rin ng dibdib ko. Pakiramdam ko, kahit saan ako tumingin, nakikita ko si Psalm. Kahit ano'ng isipin ko, sa kanya pa rin ako bumabagsak.

"What time tayo bukas?" Kitty asked. The process took the whole day kaya naman bukas pa namin makukuha iyong forms ko.

I shook my head. "Ako na lang. Kaya ko na mag-isa bukas," sagot ko sa kanya.

"You sure?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Thanks for today," I said. I was really thankful for having her in my life. She's always there come hell or high water. Alam ko minsan hindi kami nagkaka-sundo sa mga opinyon namin, but we always pull through. At the end of the day, we know that our friendship is more important than the things we couldn't agree on.

Nang maihatid ako ni Kitty sa bahay, agad kong naabutan si Jax. He was looking at me like he's really worried. And I knew he was. He wouldn't show it, but I knew he really cared for me.

"I'll miss you," I said.

Agad na mas sumeryoso ang mukha niya. "Stop fucking saying things like that," he said. I almost flinched because I never hear him cuss.