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What Naija Parent do about grades...
We all know, as fellow Nigerians that achieving anything less than full marks in a test was a reason to be ashamed.
Your parents will ask you this question: The person that did better than you have two heads? Other parents will probably be proud, but second place was...and still is not good enough.
And if you were doing well, you could probably do better.
For example:
Obinna: Hey! I can't go home, my parents will kill me, what will I do with this my report card?
American Friend: Bro, stop worrying man. You only got one B! Man, if I got those grades my parents would flip dude!
Obinna: You don't understand, my parents don't want B. They only want A!
American Friend: Man I'll see you tomorrow, ain't nothing going to happen man.
*American Friend walks away*
Obinna: God please spare me oooh, please abeg!
*gets home*
Dad: Hah my son, I heard you got your report card today? Where is it?
Obinna: I have it, here.
*Looks at your face and snatches it out of your hand. Looks over it*
Dad: CHI! CHINEKEEEEE! GOD WHY! EHHHH? WHY GIVE ME THIS IDIOTIC CHILD! OBINNA! YOU HAVE FINISHED ME! NO! IN FACT YOU HAVE KILLED ME!
Mom: Wetin dey happen? Ehh? Am I not talking to you Obinna? Wetin dey happen na my huzband?
Dad: Take! See your son's grades.
*collapses onto couch*
Mom: Chimoooo! Obinna, so all you know is how to eat! Ehh? Is that right? In fact I go land you a hard slap right now if I waz not in a good mood! Obinna! The person that got 100 did they have two heads? Ehh?
Obinna: Noooo oh! Nobody got 100! I'm the only person with the highest grade in that class.
Dad: SHUT UP THAT YOUR MOUTH! WETIN DEY MEAN? I'm the only one with the highest grade in the class— ASSIF IT IS A GOOD GRADE! FOOOOLISH BOY! GET OUT MY SIGHT! NONSENSE IDIOT!
That's how it usually goes... but we all know most Nigerians are not in a good mood, they will give hard slaps and even whip you for a grade lower than a A.
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How Naija Speak When They See Their Friends...
Everytime your parents see someone they knew, they talk like loud speakers, shouting out their greetings.
For example:
Mom: Huzband? Is that, ehm, what is that his name!
Dad: JOHNNY! HEY JOHNNY OOOOOOHHHHH! IS THAT YOU!
Mom: JOHHNY! HEYYYY! IS THAT YOU! HOW YOU DEY!
Johnny: HEY! MIRABEL AND CHUKUEMEKA! WETIN AM SEEING NOW! HEY!!! AM DOING FINE OOOOOH! HOW FAR?
Mom: AHHH! WE DOIN WELL OOOOH! THANK GOD FA THAT ONE NA! NA SO?
*they start laughing even though that wasn't really a joke*
YOU ARE READING
Funny Things Nigerian People Understand #ProjectNigeria
HumorA book with jokes, sayings, quotes that every Nigerian person will understand. ◘ *DISCLAIMER* This book is not intended to offend anyone, as well as their culture or ideas. This is just for FUN. ◘ Proud to be a Nigerian•🇳🇬💚
