Capture My Soul: A Lucifer Fanfiction

Chapter Twenty: Revelations

The dizziness never left me and some time later I realized it had gotten worse. I felt like I was going to throw up. My stomach growled and I realized that between all of this mess and us showering, breakfast had been delayed. "Lucifer, I think I need to eat something," I murmured. He pulled back, looking at me with soft eyes. "What can I get you, love?"

"Toast? Im not sure my stomach could handle much more." Lucifer nodded, gently letting me go and promising to be back soon with some toast. I sat up, shivering slightly as the cold touched my skin. I got out of bed and wandered over to his closet, walking in and pulling one of his dress shirts off the hangar. It was burgundy and raw silk. I slipped it on, heading back into bed and wrapping my arms around my knees. I put my head down, closing my eyes. I need divine intervention, I thought sullenly.

Lucifer returned shortly after with a plate in hand, two pieces of toast sat on top, a thin layer of butter on them. When he saw me in his clothes a small smile touched his lips. "I like seeing you in my clothes," he murmured, sitting down next to me and handing me the plate. "Thank you," I murmured, tentatively taking a small bite of my food. Once I thought my stomach wasnt going to instantly reject it, I allowed myself to eat a little quicker, until there was nothing but crumbs on the plate. I dusted my hands off, feeling my head clear slightly and put the plate down, leaning back against the headboard.

Lucifer watched me and I met his gaze. "Feeling better?" I nodded, tugging at my hair slightly. "Lorelai, I understand if you'd like to leave...you dont have to stick around for my benefit," I think it was the first time I had ever heard so much raw emotion come from him, the first time I had ever heard him admit anything of that nature. My head jerked up and I saw the indecision on his face. "No!" I cried, horrified. I reached for him, gripping his hands as if they were my only lifeline, tethering me to this world. "I dont want to go anywhere, not without you." A thought occurred to me and I back peddled, "unless you want me to go."

"No!" He mirrored my words and I let out a shaky breath. He still wanted me, even though I knew the truth. He didnt want me to leave and a warmth filled me, driving away the rest of the cold that had filled my insides. I realized that was one of the reasons that had sent me into shock; the possibility of him leaving me, now that I knew who he really was. I crawled onto his lap, straddling his waist. I stared into his dark eyes, trying to open myself up to him in a way I never had to anyone else. "I just need to wrap my head around things," I started, reaching up to cup his face in my hands, "I already know what kind of man you are, I just need to learn about whos in here." I pressed a hand to his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath my fingertips. "Whos really in here," I whispered. His eyes shown, his hands holding my hips. I hoped he would open up to me, hoped he would tell me everything. I needed to understand.

"Okay," he whispered, causing my heart to stutter. "In the beginning..."

* * *

"You really are the devil, arent you?" Those words, so quiet, hit him hard. His world stopped. She knows, he thought. But he felt no relief with that knowledge, no comfort in that thought. No, suddenly he was terrified, terrified that she would run screaming from him. That she would realize how corrupt he truly was and how if she stayed she'd only be corrupting herself too. But all of his thoughts, all of his fears, came to a crashing halt when he saw her crumple to the floor, a dead look in her eyes. "Lorelai? Lorelai!?" He knelt by her, panic rising in him.

What have I done to her? He wanted to touch her but was too afraid to. What if she recoiled from him? What if she begged him not to touch her? "Talk to me, please. Say something," his voice choked, the panic inside of him threatening to suffocate him from the inside out. "Lorelai, please," his voice cracked and it felt like he was dying a thousand deaths. She was going to leave him and he knew it. Everything he had gained with her, gone. He would no longer see that beautiful smile, hear that giggle of hers that always brought a smile to his lips, never see the crease between her eyes when she thought.