Not an Object, Not a Weapon

Chapter 4: Without Remorse

"Hey, are you okay?" I guess he notices my shift.

"Just tell me," I say, feeling as though needles are spreading through my body, "childhood." My hands start shaking violently, "please." I attempt to clench my fits but to no avail, they shake even harder and the needles only get worse, poking and prodding every part of my body, "who was I?" My breath picks up speed and I lose all feeling in my toes, I fear my legs are next.

"HELLO!" Arlie calls out into the dark hallway, "HELLO!" he calls out even louder which I did not think was possible, "I NEED HELP!"

"No," I say faintly, "tell me," I continue to push my mouth to talk, even though the pain intensifies. At this point, my head is spinning at 200 miles an hour, my head goes side to side and I completely lose control of my neck. "I need to know." I say although I am not sure if he could understand those last four words, each syllable was slurred with the next. My jaw clenches trying to control the pain and not scream out, I will not scream. My right arm starts twitching and starts flailing around my body.

"You have to calm down, okay?" He says, well I think that is what he says, my vision blurs and my hearing is going in and out, feeling like it is filled with water, where all sounds are distorted.

"HEY!" He yells out and I just collapse, why does this always happen to me? Stupid me trying to talk, stupid me for trying to get answers about anything, stupid me for being desperate, and stupid me for running. My vision finally goes out and just as my head drops back, a strong hand catches it and suddenly my body is hanging in the air. Then, even my mind goes blank.

@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^

"Sir, she is not ready to begin," an older woman says. I suddenly become aware of the state I am in. My eyes are close and I have a pounding headache, I hate how I always end up in this situation.

"She has to start at some point. This will distract her from what she is trying to do."

"She doesn't even know what she is trying to do!" the older woman defends me while insulting me. She is making it sound like I am clueless, I am not... okay maybe I am. Thanks for making it obvious lady.

"If she has another episode like this, she will have to be moved, and she has not even settled down here yet. She cannot move yet, do you know how bad that will make me look?"

"Do you know what a weapon will do to her? Because I don't and if you aren't careful with that she will end up right back here with her eyes closed and a faint heartbeat. If she dies, bad things will happen, to all of us!"

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO REMIND ME OF THAT!" He yells clearly getting aggravated, "I know the consequences of the girl." Excuse me sir, I have a name. "And I am well aware of what I am risking, but we have to stop her from thinking." Ha, as if dude. If I cannot talk then I have to think. "We have to stop her from starting these episodes with herself. She brings them on, everytime and it is terrifying of the damage it causes."

"She didn't want this, if that is what you are hinting at," another male voice comes into the conversation, Arlie, I believe. "She was trying to talk and her pain started in the head, then fingers, and then her entire body. She was consumed with pain because she tried to talk."

"She did mention that earlier," the older woman mentioned, "she is clearly struggling with her words, I believe she set up a barrier before she lost her memory, and now she is stuck."

"There has to be something you can do, you are a nurse," Arlie says, "she cannot go on like this because it is driving her crazy, if this continues, she will never be herself again."

"Oh, I am making sure of that," the man says, probably Master.

"That is not fair, Arlie says rather calmly but I can detect the aggravation in it, "she deserves to live her life! She deserves to be who she is!" His voice is slowly rising, it is almost unnoticeable.