Not an Object, Not a Weapon

Chapter 3: Not Overwhelmed

"See you later," he says and dashes out of the room leaving me to my thoughts. They know my past? They know my old bedroom? They know what my house used to look like? They know what my street looked like? They know my childhood? What if Avarija saved me from them? Clearing up my head, I gravitate towards the shower.

@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*

Thinking back to what Arlie said about the outfits I open my top right drawer relieved to find work out tank tops. I grab a white one with black dots and match it with dark, ripped skinny jeans. At 6:00 on the dot Arlie knocks on the door. "So, um," I say but he waves his hand as if to let me know that my words aren't worth it, guess he figured I was going to ask about the whole room thing.

"Ready to go and meet everyone?"

"Everyone?" I squeaked. I can't get more than 5 words out, let alone have normal conversations with everyone.

"Well not everyone," he laughs but he can still see uneasiness displayed in my facial expression, "hey don't worry. I'll do all of the talking, well I do that anyway."

"Words are," I say before shutting my mouth.

"Hey, I know you've been through a lot and it's okay to be overwhelmed," there is sincerity in his tone but nonetheless it pisses me off. I. Am. Not. Overwhelmed.

I can feel steam rise from my ears, "not overwhelmed." It's the truth, just because my thoughts can't come out of my mouth, does not mean that I am nervous or overwhelmed with the fact that I'm living with complete strangers who rescued me from other strangers who seemed to be interested in me with weapons, let alone with the fact that I have no memories. Surprisingly that's not what I'm concerned about. I'm more concerned with the fact that I can't talk. Something in my head is blocking me and due to my lack of memories I don't know if I triggered this or someone else did or how to undo it. So no, I am not overwhelmed, I'm aggravated. "Not overwhelmed." I repeat unable to say anything else out loud but I assure you if I had paper, he would get a piece of my mind.

"Anyway," he says unable of what else to do. He doesn't understand where I am coming from and who I am, he just doesn't get it, no one does and no one will thanks to my inability to talk. No one is hearing the frustration of my mind, although I fear that if that did hear it they would ignore me completely. They seem to care because I'm clearly hurt.

A girl with a friendly smile waves as we enter the cafeteria and my eyes light up immediately, I met her earlier. "Hey Edyta!" She says and I just smile in response. Of course I remember her name was Chastity, but saying that requires too much from me. Arlie and I approach her. The minute we sit down the two start talking and I zone out.

"Hey," Arlie says while looking at me. Turning my head to make eye contact, I stay silent hoping he will start explaining what's happening, "we are allowed to get food now." Oh thank goodness.

Chastity, Arlie and I stand up and head towards the buffet table. "So do you just not like talking?"

I stiffen at the question, how do I even respond to that? "It's a," I take a deep breath trying to force my lips to move, "struggle." I shake my head, I try to focus on each word I want to say, "something is," nodding my head I imagine the words in some crazy word art font in front of me, "blocking me."

"Oh, I'm sorry," she says and I just smile, "um, are you okay?" I nod unaware of what she is hinting at. "You seem to be sweating." I immediately lift my hand to the back of neck, aware that it's all wet, why do I sweat from talking, most people, actually no, everyone has no problem talking, why me? She clears her throat, probably trying to think of a topic to end the silence, "oooo, meatballs!" she bounces excitedly, "ugh, thank gosh, they are my favorite!" she squeals in excitement.

After we all get our food, we sit down and begin to eat. Chastity rambles about her little sister, Gala, who apparently lives in this mysterious mansion with us. Then Chastity starts directing all of her attention to me and gives me all of the details on the guys, who is dating, who to stay away from and every trait of every guy. Arlie's eyes go dark, and he seems more uninterested by the second. Guess I know who has a crush on who.

"Attention," the master speaks, "we have a new recruit." This silences everyone and I slump a little bit in my chair, pathetic, I know. "Edyta." Whispers spread through the cafeteria like a wildfire in a drought, no exaggeration. They all seem to know my name, and I have no idea why. "Edyta, won't you come up here." If he makes me try to say anything, I'll fight. I stand up and I feel glares from everyone corner of the room, all of these looks make me squirm in my seat. Once I get up to the front, the glares decrease but the unimpressed looks increase. I guess I am not much with my short frame next to the master's rather large frame. My blonde hair sets me apart however, everyone seems to have darker hair here, but the most unique feature are my eyes, everyone seems to be staring into my sapphire-blue eyes. I wave awkwardly before Master dismisses me and I hurry back to my seat.

"You are like a celebrity," Chastity smiles, "I am honored to be sitting at your table." I laugh at that, actually laugh, as if I am anything special.

"Don't you know who that is," a girl about my age smears in disgust.

"And don't you know who you are?" Chastity rebuttals, "as if you are anyone to talk."

"Watch your back otherwise, you'll be the first to go."