Far

one

We have not spoken since she arrived, I wanted to give her time to make sure she got settled in and familiar with the area. I make a mental note to text her and ask about everything.

"She adores it there, the weather is so nice! I didn't get to meet her roommate, she wasn't in the room when we got there. She misses you," she looks at me with sad eyes.

I smile, "I miss her too."

"Ariana," my mother says.

"Yes?"

"Are you okay if she comes with us? To drop you off and get you settled in?" she asks.

"Of course! She is like a second mother to me anyway," I laugh.

After they finish their coffee, which I think tastes disgusting because it's not iced, we get ready to leave. My mother and I ride in the black Jeep while Cheryl follows us in her Toyota. I am jealous of the miles per gallon she gets.

The ride is mostly quiet, there's a few moments of reminiscing or talking about what I hope to do afterwards and all of that nonsense. The drive from my house to the university is only around an hour and thirty minutes, which I am so thankful for. When holidays and breaks come, I won't have to drive forever to go back to my mother's.

I think we're both scared. The longest I've had to be away from my mom is when I used to go back to Florida in the summer to visit my dad. That was the custody agreement before I had a say. I don't know life without her and it is terrifying having to face that today.

I also don't even want to begin to think about life after college. I want to make it in the film industry but my god, it is so hard to even get your foot in the door. Let alone be in the room. I have no future plans, it almost feels like I have no future.

I feel like I blacked out at some point because before I realise it I'm saying my name to some overly-cheery girl with a big smile and she's saying words that I don't hear.

Am I okay?

My mom pulls out her reading glasses and takes a look at the map to locate where we are and how to get to my dorm hall.

The walk is not short nor sweet, and a few "oh my god, I feel like I'm dying" complaints, I am standing in front of my dorm room. It feels like I have just traveled in time and I am too nervous to unlock the door myself, so I hand the key to my mom, who laughs at my shaky hands.

Did I take something? Am I tripping?

She opens the door and I peek my head in to look, the room is tiny, but not as tiny as I was expecting, and on the right side there is a girl with short blonde hair pulled up into a ponytail.

"Hi, I'm Lili," she gives a soft smile.

"I'm Ariana," I say as I take notice of her journals. I make a mental note to ask her later if she journals too.

"I'm Joan, Ari's mom," my mom smiles at the blonde girl.

Lili returns the smile and offers to help us bring my stuff in and unpack it.

We get my bedspread on and a few pictures on my nightstand. Lili and Cheryl work on my closet while my mom and I fold and organize my clothes into the dresser.

"Nervous?" my mom asks in a soft voice.

I nod my head, "I don't know what it's going to be like without you, I'm a little scared."

"I'm always a phone call away, you know that," she wipes a stray tear.

Once we finish with my clothes we work on my bookshelf.

"Not to be too invasive or anything, seeing as though we literally just met, but you journal too?" I ask Lili, lightly laughing at myself.

Her eyes light up, "Yes, I do! I just bought a new one for here."

I smile and say I did the same thing as I hold up my new purple colored one.

"You two can get everything else set on your own, right?" my mother asks as she looks at her phone, frowning.

Her work always calls her in at random times, and I was hoping today would not be one of them, but judging by her face, all hope has left campus.

My heart hurts, but I can't let her see that.

"Yes, you guys go ahead and go, I will call you later," I hug them goodbye, my mom leaving the keys to the Jeep on my dresser.

The rest of the night is filled with getting my side of the room set up and the small talk between Lili and I. She seems so sweet and nice, I feel like we are going to get along well.

I send a quick text to Alexa, asking how UCLA is before I grab my toiletry bag.

"What are you majoring in?" she asks.

I stare at the small bag and the pile of shit that has to go in it. How am I going to make this all fit?

"I'm majoring in film, but I am also stuck between either minoring in english or music," I tell her.

"I'm majoring in english, so I will let you know if you should minor in it or not," she giggles.

"Are you a freshman too?" I ask putting my body wash on top of my shampoo and conditioner.

"Yeah, I am."

"Are you from Washington?"

"No, I am from Ohio. I moved here two years ago. What about you?"

"I'm originally from Florida, but my mom moved us here when I was around seven."

I do not feel like dumping my trauma on my roommate the first night, so I push that aside for a later date.

Once I, magically, finish getting all my toiletries in the bag, I go and sit at my desk. I pull open the calendar on my laptop and begin to fill it with important dates and deadlines.

Lili's stomach makes a noise and her cheeks flush, "Are you hungry?"

I laugh as I nod my head. We look up restaurants close by and we get in her car and head to a small diner. We talk about our fears for the first day and the excitement to meet new people.

The butterflies don't go away as I climb into the small bed. It is Friday now and classes don't start until Tuesday, but the idea of being here, with freedom and no strict moms, is all too exciting.