July Raine

The Truth..in all its glory

~~~ I hope you enjoy this chapter. I want to thank SillySkittle for bouncing ideas with me.. :) Anyway, Here we go!~~~~

*Side note: this has not edited, was excited to get this up..

" I don't know Melonie, but I think that I want to say yes.. I never told you because I was afraid to but...... I loved you back then." He sighed, and faltered in his words. "But ..." Why did there always have to be a but. "Sometimes love isn't enough, in reality I have to say no.  We were sixteen.. what were we going to do.. get married? Even if I would have known about July, I don't think it would have worked. You didn't really know how immature I was back then. To be honest, I had twelve girlfriends after that summer with you and graduation. I would stay with a girl until the water got hot, and then it was on to the next. It is not anything to be proud of, I was a stupid kid back then."

I wasn't really sure what I thought about what he was saying. In a way I was hurt, but on the other hand, I  knew he was right.  Being a mom at seventeen was hard enough, but then adding the pressures of marriage to that and it would never have worked.

" We were both immature. That is how I ended up with July."

"WE ended up with July." He corrected me, my brain seemed to be having a hard time sharing July. All I could do was nod my head. So many thoughts shot through my mind.

Would what was happening now work? Could we ever go back to the way things were between us? Did I really want that to happen?  My mind was on overdrive. Then he said something that really effected me more than I would have thought.

" The only thing I do regret is that I haven't been able to experience July growning up. Those are things that I will never be able to get back."  His wordslcut a little too deep and at this point I wanted the conversation to shift. I was happy that he was taking being a father so seriously, but I wasn't ready to go any deeper into my feelings or his feelings.  Everything was moving way too fast. .It was a relief when July came barreling in, because for just a little while I could escape the thoughts of my mind. She seemed to be entering at the right moments.

"DADDYYYY..." He looked up at her and it was as if the mood in the room had shifted. There was now a smile on his face. July had that effect on people ,especially me. July is my world and she is what makes it go around.

July leaped onto his lap at full speed. He was lucky he was paying attention or it might have a different result. However, she gracefully landed in his lap. July did everything at full speed, which is good for her, but not so good for me. Sometimes she runs me ragged, but at the end of the day... it is all worth it.

July jumped off Rainey's lap and spun in circles. " Do you like my dress daddy? I  picked out two dresses, if you don't like this one I can put the other one on."  She looked at Rainey with doe eyes, looking for his approval.

" Oh no July, I love this one, you picked the right one. I just know it." He talked to her in a very kind tone.

Her eyes glittered, all she wanted was her dad's approval and she was doing a good job of getting it. " Mommy said this was perfect too, I must have good taste in clothes." She giggled and I couldn't help but laugh at her. She definitely did not get her fashionista attitude from me. Speaking of fashion, I had yet to get dressed.

" Rainey, if you want you can go ahead and take July to your cabin, I know your family woud like to see her. It will be good for a little time without me with your family and July. Plus it will give me a chance to get ready and pull myself together." I gave him a half-hearted smile. He simply nodded his head.

"July, are you ready to go see Gigi, Pops and Abby?"  She looked at him with a very perplexed look on her face.

"Whose Gigi and Pop?"

He chuckled a little. " My mom and dad decided that they wanted to go by Gigi and Pops."

July nodded her head and smiled. " Oh like how I have a  Meems and Poppy?" This time she addressed the question to me. I smiled and nodded " Yeah, just like that baby."

"Well then, of course I'm ready!" She genuinely seemed excited. She took Rainey's hand and started to walk towards the door.

I never imagined how hard it would be letting July go with her dad without me. I mean I had let it happened before earlier in the day,but for some reason now it felt different. She was meeting a few family she'd never know. For five years it had been July and I, and my parents. This moment was one of the hardest I'd experienced. It hurt that she was going to just walk out the door. At least that is what I thought was going to happen. July let go of Rainey hand and ran towards me and hugged my leg. "Mommy , you are going to come right?"

"Of course baby, mommy just needs to get ready." I got down on her level at this point. I took her face in my hands. " July look me in the eyes." This is something I did when I wanted her to know how serious I was. "You be polite to Gigi, Pops and Abby. Do you understand? No sassing."  She nodded her head. " And... whatever your daddy says, you mind. Remember just like with me, there are also consequences if you disobey your daddy." I seemed as though I was hard on July, but I had I had to work hard to raise a well behaved little girl. When you are a parent, you can't always be their best friend, especially when you are the only one parenting.

"Yes, mommy I promise.. just like daddy I keep my promises."  I kissed her nose and gave her a bear hug.

"July, I'll be a long in a bit." I stood and looked at the clock. July returned to Rainey side and she slide her hand into his.

"How much time do I have?" 

"As much time as you need, mom couldn't get a reservations in town. So we are going to grill instead. My step-dad is on a supermarket run."

"So it is going to be a while before we eat?"

"Yeah sorry about that." It was really okay with me, my stomach wasn't really up for eating just yet.

"Do you have anything that July could snack on.. it has been a while since she ate..and if it is going to be a while she really needs to eat something.. I can fix her a snack and send with you if you need me to. I know your probably not equipped with snacks. It is not like you came prepared to be feeding a five year. I'll just get you something.." I didn't know why I was rambling, I started to head towards the kitchen.

He laughed and grabbed my arm.. " I think we will manage."

I let out a sigh, I hoped that I could trust leaving July with him for a little bit. The over protective mom was coming out in me at that moment, even though Rainey is her dad. I mean come on he just learned this very day that he was even a dad.

"Oh, no kiwi or strawberries.. she is allergic."  He looked down at July.

" Do you think we can handle it?" I studied them as they spoke. He winked and her,she attempted to wink back. She hadn't quiet mastered winking. It was actually very comical. He chuckled a little and then she responded.

"We got it mommy."  And with that July pulled Rainey to the door. He opened it for him and then they were gone.