July Raine

I always keep my promises

July and I sat and talked for a long time. It is hard to imagin beging able to have a conversation with a five year old, but July was different from other little girls. I think it is because I've always talked to her about everything, even when she wasn't old enough to understand. For a five year old she has pretty good conversational skills.

"Mommy, why was that lady crying?"

"Oh, just grown up stuff, it is nothing you should worry about, everything will be fine soon enough." At least I really hoped that everything would be okay. I didn't want this to cause a rift between Rainey and his family, but in all honesty I had done absolutely nothing wrong. I was only trying to do what was right by letting him know the truth. I had learned over the years that truth was really the best policy. I always think that maybe things would have been different if I would have just told Rainey the truth about loving him all those years ago. But I'm not really the type of person to dwell on the past.

"Mommy, do you love daddy? Does daddy love you?" my heart did flips in my chest at the thought.

"Baby, that's not really how love works. I haven't know your daddy in a long time, and you know we were just kids back then, things change when you get to be a grown up."

"But, I love daddy and I've never met him." She was the sweetest little girl I could ever imagine having.

"I know you do sweetie. Let's just worry about you getting to know daddy for right now okay."

"You know what mommy, maybe we both can get to know daddy."

I hugged her close to me. " That sounds like a plan sweet pea." I have always had little nicknames for July. I love her more than anything in the world and I'm just so glad that she has turned out so well, coming from a single parent household.

When an hour had past, I decided I'd give him ten more minuets before we headed back to our cabin. July played on the monkey bars and the merry-go-round with some children that came here every summer just as we do. I hoped for her sake that he came. Because when he said he'd come, I know she believed him, and deep down so did I, that's probably why I was giving him some more time. July had no concept of time, she would never know if he was late. Fifteen minutes later I figured it was time to give up. July and I gathered all of our things and I took hand as I always do and we bagan walking towards the path to our cabin.

"Is daddy not coming?" She looked at me with sad eyes.

"Sweet pea... I'm sure..." And then as I was about to continue, I heard the most refreshing words.

"Melonie, July, wait up, I'm here." I turned and looked over my head and sure enough there he was, in a full out run. He had a perfect stride, and if I recall correctly, he ran track in high school. It was as if a light bulb had been turned on in July, the sadness was gone and a smile was plastered across her face. She instantly let go of my hand and took off running. I was so glad to see her happy, but in a way I was sad, she no longer needed me as much as she did before, now she had a daddy who she could run to, before she always ran to me. He picked her up and hugged her. I continued to stand where July had left me.

"Sorry I'm late."

"It is okay daddy, your here now..right mommy?"

I attempted to smile. " Yeah it is okay, I was sure that you would make it sooner or later, as far as I know you keep your promises."

He tilted his head to the side and furrowed his brow. He looked at me for a moment then spoke. "Something I never do is never break a promise."

I didn't really know what to say. He was not easy to talk to, I don't know if it is because I had changed or because we had both changed.. or maybe because I had guarded my heart and locked it away a long time ago. But we both knew that we didn't have a single clue about who the other person was anymore. I hated feeling so disconnected from the father of my child and I know that I say this a lot, but we were supid kids and we didn't know the first thing about haveing a real relationship. On a regular basis I think about how immature and irresponsible we were. Not only was it stupid to have sex at sixteen, but unprotected sex. I mean it is not like I didn't know better. When I turned fifteen my mom gave me the talk, then my dad gave me his version of the talk, which was quiet embarrassing and I thought at that point that I would never want to have sex, ever and after Rainey.. well I stopped having sex. I've dated a few men in the last few years, but none that I saw a future with, or one that I ever considered introducing to July to. They were there to help pass the time, I wasn't ready to find a man who I wanted to bring into my small family. July was enough family I needed. I was content with my life the way it was. I don't know how long I had been standing there in a trance but I knew that I was staring at them, I snapped out of it at the sound of giggles coming from my July.

And the words just popped out of my mouth. I didn't know why but they just came out "Well, I'm glad to hear that."

He looked up at me as if confused. " Glad to hear what?"

"That you keep your promises."

He just laughed a little. "Where have you been, I said that ten minutes ago."

" I don't know, I was just thinking about....." I stopped I wasn't sure what I wanted to say or if I wanted to say what I had been thinking about.

"What were you thinking about?" He picked up July and walked closer to me.

" I was thinking about.." I let out a deep sigh "Just about the past, that... that summer."

He turned his head away from me and looked at July. He tucked her hair behind her ear and kissed her nose. " I think about that summer all the time."

July giggled and just as July always dodes she said exactly what she is thinking. " Daddy, you mean that summer you and mommy were in love."

Rainey quickly turned his head to look at me, and I looked back at him. I pulled in my lower lip and began to chew on it, it was a bad habbit I'd had since I was a kid. It was something I did was my nerves got the best of me. He gave me a questioning look, he slightly wrinkled his nose and grinned at me. He turned back to July and kissed her nose again. "Yeah, it was that summer that summer your mom and I were in love."

"Daddy, do you still love mommy?" At this point I had to intervene, not only for her but for me too. As much as I thought I was over the past, I didn't want to hear his answer.

"July, we've already talked about, I told you... it was a long time ago."

"I know mommy, but I've heard your side of the story, I just wanted to hear daddy's side so I can compare." My daughter was something else, I wanted to laugh at her, but I had to be firm with her, because I raised her in a household where I was the authority and she would respect my words and not talk back. I want to raise a young lady who repected others. I opened my mouth to speak, but was cut off by Rainey.

"July sweetie please don't talk back to your mother." I couldn't believe he was saying this, he had only know he was a dad for a few hours and he was easily stepping in the the roll of a father. It is amazing how that happens. It was kind of nice to have back up. It had always been me telling her to mind her manners, or to follow the rules and I'd never once had back up. It was a nice feeling. July's head instantly shot in my direction, she didn't speak, her eyes were wide open. I gave her the look, you all know the look. The one that your mom gives you that says, 'do as I say' or 'I'm serious' She lowered her head and turned back to Rainey. She looked up at him and sighed.

"Yes daddy. I'm sorry, don't be mad at me."

"July, I'm not mad." he pulled her in a hug, then pulled away and looked at her. " You just need to mind your manners, because I can tell that your mommy taught you to have good manners and I know you want to do as you mom asks right?" She nodded her head.

"I'm sorry mommy, I'll mind my manners from now on." I knew better than that, but it was a sweet gesture. It wasn't the first time that July said what was exactly on her mind and I knew it wouldn't be the last time.

I smiled at her and held out my arms to her. "Okay, sweetie, just remember what I said... and remember what your daddy said about manners." Rainey let her down, and I bent down at her level and she hugged me and i hugged her so tight. I didn't want to let her go, but from that moment on I knew things were going to be different. As I hugged her, I looked up at Rainey and mouthed 'thank you'. He just smiled and nodded his head. I closed my eyes and hugged her more. Funny, how life changes in a moment. Just like the day that she was born my life changed, and today both our lives changed. For her she now had a daddy who was present in her life, and for me, it seemed as though if nothing else, I now had back up. It may not seem like a lot, but when your a single mom it is.

Today had been an interesting day, but I had a feeling that all the days to come were going to be just as interesting, if not more.