17BLACK

Chapter 80

Louis' POV:

"I'll just go home," I insist again. I put my hand around Will's arm to pull him away from the poor employee with the clipboard in his hands.

"No," Will snaps. There's still sweat in his hair and on his forehead from the intense performance. "You're staying for the after party."

I groan in frustration. We've been standing here for ten minutes, arguing with the employee about how many people Will is allowed to bring as guests to the after party. Performers can apparently only be accompanied by one addition, and Will has me and Aaron to think about.

I've sworn up and down that I can just go home and Aaron can be the guest, but Will doesn't want me to be alone. He won't say it, but I know.

"For the last time, sir, only one companion per performer. It's not my rule-"

"He's mine," comes a voice from behind me. I close my eyes as the voice registers.

Harry.

"I mean," Harry corrects. "He's my guest." He gives a light chuckle to brush off the awkwardness. I clear my throat.

"I think that I'll just go home, thanks." I don't turn around even though I can feel his body behind mine, his heat radiating to me.

Will doesn't seem to be fazed, and I have to remind myself that he's seen Harry since the breakup. They are friends. He doesn't react the same way towards Harry as I do.

"Come on Louis, it won't hurt anything. Just to get you in?" Will gives me those eyes, the eyes he's had ever since he was five and realized that they got him extra lollipops at Halloween.

I sigh.

"I don't have anyone else to bring, anyways. Don't let my spot for the party go to waste, Lewis." I feel cornered, Will and Harry teaming up against me in attempt to get me into an after party that I didn't even want to go to in the first place.

Harry's hand lands on my shoulder.

"Don't." He can't touch me. It threatens the feeble walls I've convinced myself I've built. 

I push past everyone in my way, escaping with no specific place in mind. I need to escape Harry's touch, the emotions that threaten to harm me again, the expectations in me that Will and Aaron have, the feelings that came along with the performance tonight.

I'm feeling too much all at once, and I can't let that happen. I can't be this vulnerable.

I've worked so hard to block out the memories of him, the memories of us especially, rebuilding the mental walls that I thought were strong enough to protect me from Harry.

I was wrong. He hasn't even been back in my life for three hours and he's already crushing the flimsy material into pulp. I thought I built the wall out of brick, but what a surprise when I figured out that it was just flimsy straw. And what chance does straw have against someone like Harry that can blow it down in a heartbeat?

We all have a fight or flight instinct, and when you've realized that you have no fight left in you, you run.

So I do. I run past people staring at me weird, I run past important people with suits on, I run through the building and off the stage and down the floor until I reach the elevator.

I freeze when I hear something I didn't hear before over the blood pumping in my ears. It's my name.

I realize then that Harry has been chasing me. He's right on my heels, so close to burying me under that goddamn straw, and I can't let that happen.