Affection // irwin

Chapter 14

“Having a bad hair day?”

“It’s worse than ever,” Ashton replies to Michael’s question.

I look at his hair. It doesn’t look that bad. A bit flat and messy at the same time, sticking in every direction, but definitely not bad.

“I wouldn’t say that. I’ve seen worse,” Emma says.

“Oh yeah, when?”

“Remember that time when you had curly hair?” Emma says with a smirk on her face.

“Oh, fuck off.”

“Right, Joselyn?”

They all turn to me. Emma’s still smirking, I know she’s only joking. Michel’s smiling and Ashton’s eyes are big. Should I go for it?

“Yeah…” I say before I can change my mind.

Emma cheers but something flashes in Ashton’s eyes.

“I mean…”

I shake my head at Ashton, but his eyes are already turned to Michael. I was only joking. Am I not allowed to joke? I feel bad. I really didn’t mean it. I love his hair, messy, curly or straight. If anyone had said that to me, joked about my appearance, I’d burst out in tears. But Ashton is different, isn’t he? If he can take a joke from Emma and Michael, he sure can take it from me. I hope. I want to apologize, but they’ve already changed the topic.

“…and so I took the car and drove away.”

“No way. What’d she say?”

“Nothing. I flipped her off. I just wanted to borrow the fucking car.”

“Hey, don’t swear,” Ashton says somehow offended.

“You swear all the time, Ash,” Emma reminds him.

“I do not.”

“You do! Remember Miss Johnson in 6th grade? You swore 58 times in one class once. And the class was only 40 minutes long.”

“Long time ago. Haven’t swore since.”

“You said ‘fuck off’ a few minutes ago. Besides, I’ve heard you swear before and I haven’t been here for long,” I say, wanting to be a part of the conversation.

Ashton glances at me and he seem lost for words.

“I’m trying…” His voice is low, almost whispering. I know I’m the only one who heard him because neither Emma nor Michael moves.

“What’s so bad about swearing, anyway?” I ask him, and only him, but Michael’s the one who answers.

“He thinks it gives a bad impression.”

“People take you less seriously and it hurt people,” Ashton adds.

“True,” I say and think back on all the times I’d been called bad words. Cursing was often included. Sometimes they even made up new words, turned nice words into bad ones.

“Hey hey hey! What is this, the serious group?” Calum walks towards us with his arms open. Liza is close behind him. Both grinning hard. 

Emma moves closer to me to make some room which makes me have to move as well. My knee touches Ashton’s and I feel a rush through my body, making my heart stop for a second. I don’t dare look him in the eyes.

“We should play a game!” Liza suggests and the others agree.

“Truth or dare?”

“Boring. How about ‘Have you ever…’?” Calum raises an eyebrow.