As I previously stated I have not had much luck in the ways of boys. It's not that I don't try its just that guys don't find me attractive. Im not happy but I've accepted this.
However, this is not what I want to talk about. I want to talk about a girl. let's call this girl 'Kelly rose bulmer'. this isn't her real name in fact, her real name is much more sweet sounding than that. This girl is just, well... I am in love with this girl. no matter how much I try to tell myself I'm not, I CAN'T STOP. About a year/2 years ago a lot of the girls in my year started coming out as bisexual. I know a lot of these were just attention seekers but one of these was Kelly. She had previously been dating another girl with a let's say 'less than clean' reputation. I was beginning to come to grips with the fact that I liked Kelly and I thought "right, if I come out as bi she might go out with me" . WHY THE HELL DID I THINK THAT!? Right, let me tell you about this girl...
Kelly Rose Bulmer is undoubtedly the most naturally stunning girl I have ever seen.
she has perfect hair which she has styled in a flippy fringe but she always tucks the fringe behind her ear. She has these freckles which line her nose and she tries to cover them up with a little bit of makeup but not too much so it's not obvious.
And she always looks down in this shy endearing way which is really cute but when she looks up she has this look which could make a puppy go 'aww'.
she is just wow. Im not going to lie and say she has these spectacular Technicolored eyes. she doesn't, which is amazing because it just makes her all the more real. her eyes are actually this subtle green colour which make you forget the exact colour as soon as you look away.
And its not just her face either. She seems to have this constantly perfect figure, not too skinny but not even edging into fat. She also does this cute thing with her feet where she stands balancing on the sides of her feet with them crossed over.
so yeah long story short...
she rejected me.
I wasn't surprised actually. I was more surprised at the fact I even had the nerve to ask her out. After that I kinda just kept my distance, not wanting to seem creepy. But I can't handle it.
Do you understand how hard it is to love someone who doesn't live you back?
To know that you can't tell anyone about your love because they won't believe you or say youre too young to love.
To not be able to talk to the people you are meant to be closest to about it because they will take the mick out of you.
I can tell you now, it's hell.
