LETTERS FOR HIM | #WattPride

DAY SEVEN | 0

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Date: 18 June 2018.

'No Matter What Age.
No Matter What Gender.
Love is Love.'

THE TREES FLEW BY as Xavier drove. BURN IT DOWN by Linkin Park was blasting in the stereo of the car. The lyrics helped him to focus, screamed in frustration, sang and forget whatever had happened in the past nine hours.

NINE HOUR BEFORE

A trembling and red Xavier entered the house. Closing the door behind him, he slumped on the doorway mat. His breathing was labor. He was having a panic attack. 
"Breathe. Breathe" Xavier breathe out. He focus on his little sister and on his grandma. 
"That's it. Relax" He slowly got up from the mat and made his way to the kitchen. His table was full of mint chewing gum. Popping one chewing gum in his mouth, he sat heavily on the chair. 
His breathing coming back normal. 
Each time, he would have anxiety or panic attack. He would always try to focus on his favorite people and calm himself. After relaxing, he would chew a chewing gum. Eating chewing gums would always made him feel relax, calm and safe. 

After a few minutes, he made his way to his bathroom, taking a hot shower.  Xavier let himself fall on the once cold floor of the bathroom. Fat tears fell freely on his cheeks. The hot water fell, starting from his head to his toes, washing his pain, his guilt, his shame. His clothes were drenched and clinging to his body.
"Why--!" Xavier cried out. His hands on his face, crying his heart out. He wanted someone to wrap their arms around him and held him while he cried. But he couldn't have that.  Why couldn't he express his feelings like others? Why? 

Because he is not straight like others? And there's a 50-50% that the other guy is not gay.

He didn't want to be friend zoned. The thoughts of being friend zoned by his crush made him feel helpless and rejected.

He was scared. Insecure. Helpless. Afraid. 
Afraid of rejection. 

"Be Brave, Xavier" Xavier muttered. Removing his clothes, Xavier took a quick hot shower, to calm him and remove the stains of tears. 
Walking in his room with a towel wrapped around his hips, he made his way to his balcony; to get some fresh air. 
But The sight in front of him made him mad and jealous. All the fresh air disappeared. 

There were two boys holding hands, smiling. 
But the couple in front of them made Xavier mad.

It was his lover.

Cody's hands were intertwined with a girl.

And they were laughing.

D O N ' T F O R G E T 

T O V O T E ,C O M M E NT A N D S H A R E