SHAWN MENDES IMAGINES

We go down together

This involves talk about suicide and other relative things so if this is a sensitive subject to you, please don't read.

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I tried calling him several times, but it just went straight to voice mail.

You may think that I am being overdramatic, but I'm just worried.

He's been really distant for the past week. He would text maybe once every two days.

I didn't know if he was cheating, but I just couldn't see Shawn ever doing that, so I didn't really know what it was.

I bit my lip trying to debate on what to do. As extra as it may have been, I got up and grabbed my keys.

I paced to my car and with shaking hands opened it.

I sat down, started the ignition, and drove to Shawn's. It only took about 5 minutes to get there, which was good considering I was for some reasons a nervous wreak.

I pulled into the driveway and took a few breaths before jumping out with the keys he gave me.

I quickly jogged up to the door and unlocked it. My heart was beating even faster than before. He's never not talked to people for so long.

"Shawn!" I yelled and no response. I bit my lip and started to walk down the hallway. "Shawn!" I yelled once again getting silance as a answer. I ran over to his door and started to knock on it. I heard nothing so I had enough and bargged in. I saw once again, nothing.

I walked around trying to figure out if he was just gone doing something and I was just being dramatic, or if something actually happened.

I saw several pieces of paper crunched in balls all around the room. I picked one up and unraveled it.

"Im sorry im not that great at these things. But have you ever felt really stuck? Like you can't figure out why but you are? Well that's how I feel and I just feel like there is nothing ahead of me... shit, im horrible at these things." I read outloud to myself feeling the tears boil up in my eyes.

This cant be. He couldn't have actually tried to commit suicide could he? I didn't even notice all the tears streaming down my face because I was thinking so deeply.

I frantically opened tons of the crinkled papers to try to find something. Eventully I think I found something that could work.

"I've always wanted to die somewhere calm. Almost silent."

It may sound not much, but I remember that shawn took me to a place that he said was his "quite place". He said that it was like nobody was around it was so quite.

I prayed that I was right and he would still be alive. I could not let this happen. He could do so much in life. He's so talented and pure its unbelievable. I just wish he knew that.

I rushed over to my car grabbing my keys on the way out. I sped my was over to the place I was almost positive he was at. When I got there i jumped out and raced over to where he took me. I saw a tall figure leaning against a tree looking in the distance.

What made my heart stop even more was he was looking over a tall hill that goes off into a rocky river. Something that could instatly kill once you hit bottom.

"Shawn!" I yelled and I saw his head whip over to were I was. "F*ck." I saw him mumble. once I got over to him I wrapped my arms around his strong body. I started to cry and cry.

Once I let go I stayed close and looked up at him with sad eyes and started to punch his chest repeatedly. "Why why why why!" I yelled punching him still even though I was so weak it was probably nothing.

He grabbed my hands and looked me dead in the eyes before saying, "I'm so sorry." His voice broke in the middle which broke my heart even more which I didn't even think was possible.

"It's so damn hard hearing all the people talk about how much they hate me and how I should just f*cking die! And you know what! Maybe they're right! It would be a hell a lot easier for all of us!" He shouted tears rolling down his face.

I've never seen Shawn like this. He always hids all his emotions so well. "Shawn, you can go so far and trust me I know that!" I started but then he cut me off. "You're just saying that because you have to I mean you're my girlfriend you're not just going to be straight up! So it doesnt count when you say it!" he yelled over top of my voice. I felt my already broken heart fall.

Then for some reason I started to get mad and angry. "You know what Shawn! Since I'm your girlfriend it counts the most because I know you a hell a lot more than them! And trust me, if god wanted you dead and others wanted you to, you really would be dead Shawn! So don't even try to tell me other wise!" I shouted out of breath.

I looked at the shocked look on his face not expecting me to say all that. I closed my eyes and tried to cool myself down. "Shawn I love you. And there are millions of people who would be so heart broken if something happened to you." I said calmed down.

He looked somewhere in the distance before pulling me in a tight hug sobbing in my shoulder. I rubbed his back trying to calm his down some. I heard a small hiccup before a soft voice saying, "I'm really sorry."

I sighed rubbing my hands up and down his back again. "Let's just say Shawn, we go down toghether." I said and felt him smile. I felt his breathing start to go back to normal. "Wanna go back home?" I asked and I felt him slowly nod.

"Alright come on." I said pulling away from the hug and taking his hand directing him to my car.

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So this was emotional :/ (sorry for any typos)