SHAWN MENDES IMAGINES

Letters Part 2

Y/ns POV

I held my phone in my grasp as I ran out to my car. I nervously put the key in the key hope and started it up.

I was not very stabile to be driving but I don't give to sh!ts about that right now.

As I was driving I turned on the radio to try to cool my nerves. The first song that came on was "See You Again" by Charlie Puth. I instantly changed that. The next song was "Running Low" by Shawn. I quickly changed that for obvious reasons and the next thing that came on was "How to Save a Life" by The Frey. "God Da*nit!" I yelled turning it off.

I sped to the hospital he was at and parked at the only open spot that was sadly the farthest away. Figures.

I jumped out making sure to grab my phone. I darted to the entrance and opened the doors. I stopped when I noticed everyone was staring. I awkwardly walked to the desk, "I'm here for Shawn Mendes." I said politely holding back the tears at his name. She sighed before turning back at me. "He just got here and they are doing surgery to make sure all the toxins are out of his system." (A/N I doubt it's called toxins but just roll with it. I'm not the smartest lol)

I groaned and walked to the small cheep seats. I got lost in my thought and I guess time flew by because the next thing I New someone was walking up to me. "Were you here for Shawn Mendes?" Someone asked and I eagerly nodded. "Only family relatives can come in." I thought for a second before saying, "He's me fiancé." I said bluntly and he nodded I'm guessing buying it.

"Room 69." he said and I tried to stifle my laugh. (A/N haha 69)

I quickly got up and paced to the room he told me. When I got there I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. When I opened them I brought my hand up to the flat wood surface. I knocked a few times before slightly opening it.

I saw him lying on the bed and it almost killed me then. I slowly walked over and sat on the chair. I examined his pale body. I haven't seen him in 3 years but he was still extremely handsome.

I looked up at the heart monitor as the slow beat went by. A tear slipped out of my watery eye as I combed my hand through his brown curly hair.

I couldn't bare it anymore. The tears started to stream down my cheeks. I buried my head in my hands and just let them fall out. All these letters and I was so stupid to my notice. Not after ignoring him after all this time I'm watching him hoping he will not die.

After a few minutes I took his cold hands in mine and took a shaking breath. "Hey," I started taking another deep breath trying to contain myself, "I haven't really talked to you a lot but umm I don't really know how to say this even though you can't hear me. Well, I guess you only know you really love someone when they almost leave you. Shawn I love you so incredibly much it hurts. God why did you do this to me." The tears were now streaming down my face.

      "Because I loved you to much." I heard a faint raspy voice say. I quickly looked up thinking that I was hearing things. "Hey." I said quickly taking his hands in mine. He winced at the sudden force so I softened my grip saying a small 'sorry'.

"Hey. It's been a while." He said looking at his feet. "Yeah." I whispered my voice breaking. "Do you hate me that I did that." He said breaking the silence. This shocked me so I hesitated before answering, "Of course not Shawn. It just hit me so hard." I said choking on my words.

"I don't think I'll make it." He said changing the subject. I looked up with a surprised look on my face. "Shawn don't say th-" I started but he cut me off. "No y/n. It's too much. Talking is like a bullet going through me each word." He said trying to talk loudly but it only came out as barely even a whisper.

"But Shawn you can't leave. I-" I started again but was cut off by him squeezing my hand harder and looking me dead in the eye signaling that I was wrong.

"Shawn I'm not going to stop. I need you to know this. I didn't really figure this out with all the letters but in the last one you sent, the thing that really hit me was your smile. In that one picture where your smile was bigger and more real than anyone's I've ever seen. It was just like a slap in the face to how mush I f*cking love you Shawn. Shane Peter Raul Mendes I love you so f*ching much I need you to know that. I will blame myself everyday because this is all my fault. I didn't have to ignore all the letters. I was to blind and stupid to see you were in pain. That smile I haven't seen in three years. I miss it. I miss waking up to it every morning. I miss sitting down and being able to see it. I was such a happy person. I screwed up." I sobbed. I was a crying mess now in Shawn's arms.

"It was never your fault. You may say you love me but it doesn't compare to what I feel." I pulled away looking in his eyes. I looked at the heart monitor and saw it slowing down. Things started to get blurry. When I looked back down I heard a faint, "I love you and I'll wait for you." Then there was a loud high pitched sound.

The heart monitor.

The loud annoying alarm that wakes you up from reality and says you lost someone you loved.

Everything was happening at once I barely even noticed all the doctors rushing me out. "I love you." I whispered. The fainter the beep noise the fainter my sight was. The next thing I knew was everything went black.

There was only one picture. Shawn. He was smiling and he was beside me with a tux on. I had a white wedding dress on and was what looked like I'm guessing a weddings after party.

"I love you." I said to him which he returned.

Right when he was leaning in I took a deep breath.

"What happened!" I yelled looking at everyone around me. "You passed out hun." My mom said. "Wh-" I started but could not finish. I knew why.

He was gone.

And never coming back.

I'm not going to be wearing a dress walking down the aisle to him in a nice church.

The only thing I get to do is wear a dress and walk down listening to all the 'I'm sorry for your lost' and all that. Which frankly just makes things worse.

There will never be a happy ending.

He's gone for good now. But if he'll wait. Than so will I.
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SORRY! Tbh I actually think this chapter is really sucky. Whateves. So testing is going on at school like the state testing cause well I'm American idk if that's just a American thing or not but if others do it too, well I'm sorry because trust me ik how bad it sucks. I mean seriously why the heck did I have to write a essay (mine was freaking 3100+ words) ABOUT WATERFALLS! BRO! Cause that will help us a lot on life. Now it would be different if I wrote like a essay about Canada because I wouldn't really have to read that much but I mean whatever! Alright well PEACE!
(Ps the Dolan Twins posted again today and let's just say they are freaking amazing editors and I'm so happy they are on Jersey shore now. ALRIGHT NOW REALLY BYE!)