silent tears (jian)

the memories

jc caylen
seeing my family gave me happiness. i was truly happy with life. kian and i were doing well, our channel was blowing up again and our relationship was growing stronger.

we were laying in bed, late at night when kian began to ask questions.

"remember when we kissed for first time?" he asked laughing at the memory.
"on the set of haters, yeah that was eventful." i said laughing with him.

"you're cute when you laugh." he stopped laughing and turned.
"kian whats wrong?" i asked turning him around.
"i hate how i look when i laugh and i don't want you to look at me." he said looking down.
"no, i love your laugh and i love when your nose scrunches up." he smiled.
"you want to know what i'm insecure about?" i said looking down now. kian nodded.
"i hate my cheeks. i always have." i admitted. kian grabbed my hands.
"i love your cheeks, all chubby and cute. they suit you. one of the many things i love about you." kian said. i didn't say anything back. i just kissed him.

the next morning i woke up to an empty bed. i walked into the kitchen to find kian sitting at the counter, crying. he had his phone to his ear. soon the phone dropped to the ground. kians hands flew to his face.

"ki?" he didn't move, his sobbing got louder.
"kian what's wrong?" i said trying to move his hands.
"i have to leave." he said getting up.
"leave? kian what the hell is happening?" i said getting angry that he wasn't telling me.
"jc i have to go." he said getting his keys.
"kian you're my fucking boyfriend you have to tell me why you're leaving or i'll just worry myself to death." i said soon he turned around to face me.
"i cant jc, i cant tell you right now." he said crying. i tried to walk towards him and he backed away.
"kian stop, your hurting me. stop backing away." i said crying at this point.
"i cant be here right now. i don't know if i'll be able to come back. i love you jc but i cant put you through this." he said walking out the door. i fell onto the couch and cried. what the hell just happened?

kian lawley
of course the results came back to be positive. i sat in my car crying. cancer. the word kept repeating in my head. i hadn't pulled out of jcs driveway i didn't have the strength. soon i saw the curly haired boy and my car door opened.
"kian if you don't tell me what the fuck is going on, i can't fix it." he said and i lost it.
"YOU CAN'T FIX IT JC, NO ONE CAN FUCKING FIX THIS. I HAVE CANCER." i yelled and i fell from the seat. tearing were falling from my face. no words or sounds coming from my mouth. jc lost it and more tears were falling from his eyes. he hugged me.
"you're not leaving me, you don't get to leave me. not today. not ever." jc said as he hugged me. there we sat, two broken boys on the concrete ground of a driveway. tearing silently drowning the happiness we once felt.