Almost, But Not Quite (COMPLETED)

Chapter 44

He bit his lower lip again. Ugh!

"Ano pa?" he asked.

I looked at him. I bit my lower lip, too.

"Required na... na kahit alam kong mahihirapan tayong dalawa, walang bibitaw, okay? It's gonna be hard, but we have each other, right? We're in this together, sabi mo, 'di ba?"

It was frightening. It was frightening to know that time could change everything. That what if he forgets about me? That what if I forget about him? What if we get so fucking busy that we forget about each other?

Ang daming pwedeng mangyari.

Ang daming pwedeng mawala.

But we shouldn't just give up without a fight. I knew we stood a chance. I knew Psalm would support me in achieving my dreams... and I wouldn't just give Psalm up. Alam kong mahihirapan ako sa mga gusto kong gawin sa buhay, pero hindi ibig sabihin nun na handa akong i-give up siya... kasi pwede namang sabay, 'di ba? Pwede naman na kasama ko siya habang inaabot ko 'yung pangarap ko.

"I always got your back, Joey," he said.

* * *

Pagpasok ko sa loob ng testing room, puno iyon ng kabadong mga mukha. I was sure that they're mirroring the same expression on my face. I felt like vomiting. I felt nauseated. I felt so fucking nervous.

Nang pumasok iyong proctor at ipaliwanag iyong mga mangyayari, mas lalo lang lumala iyong pagka-hilo ko. I knew I shouldn't mess this up, or else hindi ako makakapasok sa gusto kong school. Every question in this exam mattered. Every point fucking mattered.

"Part 1 of your exam begins now," the proctor said.

I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. I also said a little prayer before I began.

"Here goes nothing," I whispered to myself as I began answering the test.

* * *

After the exam, pakiramdam ko gusto kong ilabas lahat ng kinain ko kaninang lunch. Nahihilo na ako. Gusto ko na lang matulog tapos bukas ko na iisipin iyong ibang bagay.

Paglabas ko sa testing site, agad kong nakita si Psalm. He was standing in the middle. He was looking at me. He was smiling. I felt like crying, but seeing him there was enough to pacify my heart.

"Ang dami kong mali..." bulong ko paglapit ko sa kanya.

Psalm looked at me, then cupped my face. "You did your best. I'm sure it will be fine, Joey."

My lips were trembling. "Paano kapag hindi ako nakapasa?"

Umiling siya. "You'll pass. Positive thoughts, Jo. Positive thoughts attract positive results," he said, then planted a soft kiss on my forehead. Ako, niyakap ko siya. I calmed myself against his body as I repeatedly told myself that it'd be fine.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano kami katagal na ganoon, pero gusto ko na yakap ko lang si Psalm. I stayed inside his arms until I felt pacified.

"You wanna go somewhere or you wanna go home and rest?"

I looked up to him while my hands were still wrapped around his body. "Pwedeng bukas na tayo gumala?" I asked, and frowned. "Sobrang sakit na ng ulo ko."

He smiled, and nodded. "You wanna eat first or...?"

"Uwi na," I said.

Tumawa siya, tapos pinisil iyong ilong ko. "You're so cute when you're acting like a baby," sabi niya. Inalis ko iyong yakap ko sa kanya. Inakbayan ako ni Psalm habang naglalakad kami pabalik sa sasakyan niya. He began talking about random stuff na hindi ko maintindihan kung saan niya hinuhugot. But I knew that he was just trying to divert my attention. Kasi ayaw niya na malungkot ako. Kasi ganoon siya.