Viral

Chapter 1

I may be a surfer, but not in the typical sense- in that it doesn't mean I'm athletic. The only well exercised part of me is my index finger, because I can scroll on a laptop for hours on end. I spend more time in the Internet than anywhere else. I am a self-confessed fangirl of multiple YouTubers. As a web surfer, I can often be found doing nothing but reading fanfics and scrolling through Tumblr.

Today, however, was slightly different: I wasn't going to be the one doing the scrolling and the watching of the videos whilst propped against the pillows of my bed, one hand on the mouse pad and the other alternating between my mouth and an extremely large bag of Doritos.

I was going to be the one making a video, to post on my struggling YouTube channel, which I'd created about three years ago. My channel, called javastorm, was something I'd created in a coffee-laden stupor and then continued with after one person decided to subscribe. It mostly contained a variety of sketches, vlogs, and music videos, mostly parodies. Today... What was I doing today? Originally, I'd meant to do a parody of a Frozen song, but now I wasn't sure I had the motivation. With so few subscribers, YouTube couldn't be a job, so I wasn't really obliged to upload anything in order to make my living.

I rolled out of bed and onto the floor, bringing the duvet with me. One hand clawed its way out from the blanket and grabbed my phone off the table, before disappearing back into the abyss. Blinking groggily, I stared at the screen. 10:34- at least I was up before eleven. Not bad on my day off! I gathered the blue duvet around my shoulders and stood up, shaking off the multiple stuffed animals which had decided to roll off the bed with me.

First destination of the day: the kitchen. All of us night owls and nocturnal people know just how important that first meal of the day is, because without it we are the grumpiest, least social people you will ever meet. We may still be antisocial after breakfast, but not quite as much, and you can't really say it's our fault. We don't get much sleep as we usually only go to bed at 1, then spend another two hours on our phones before finally going to sleep at 3 in the morning. First world problems are serious for some of us.

I shuffled over to a cupboard on the far side of the room, seized a bowl and spoon, and retuned with a box of Weetabix in hand. Once my breakfast and tea was ready, I slumped onto the sofa and into the browsing position.

"Nice to see you're up at last," said Molly, my flatmate, as she walked in,"I though I was going to have to come in and tip water on you!"

She strode to the hall mirror and began preening- a touch of lip gloss here, some blusher there. There was clearly a Special Someone at work she was trying to impress. The blue polo she wore wasn't very flattering, and I knew she only went to such extra effort when trying to get noticed.

"Who's the crush?" I asked, not feeling too subtle at the early hour of 11.

"N-no one," she stammered, the hesitation in her voice and blush in her cheeks giving her away as she twisted to examine her hair.

I decided not to push it. If the crush did anything, I would be sure to hear all about it that evening. Our girl talks were a thing of legend that would make any guy's ears shrivel up and fall off.

"Well, see you later!" She picked up a jacket from the rack, and opened the door.

"Bye!" I called, as the door slammed shut. Time for another glorious day of doing nothing but Tumblr and YouTube...

Molly knew nothing about my channel. She had a social life, and wasn't obsessed with the videos of danisnotonfire, AmazingPhil, and charlieissocoollike, to name but a few. I only ever made videos on days when she was working, so she wouldn't think I was some sad freak who could only turn to the Internet for comfort.

After losing myself in a spiralling vortex of terror at the horrific creations the Phandom had made, I resurfaced at three when my laptop died. I really needed to make that video- but food first. Thankfully, the kitchen had enough supplies to make me some of what I like to call 'sandwiches'. I took two bananas, peeled them, and sliced them down the middle, before flinging their peels into the bin. As I whistled whatever song had weaseled its way into my head and refused to get out, I unscrewed the Nutella and spread thick, creamy layers of it onto the bananas, before sandwiching them back together and tucking in. Now that was the flavour of heaven itself. The knife went in the sink, the Nutella in the cupboard, and me to the bathroom, where I showered and cleaned myself up to look vaguely presentable for the video.

Half an hour or so later, I emerged from my bedroom, clean, with my hair done and a new t-shirt on. No longer in my pyjamas, I walked into our office, and set up my camera on a tripod, as well as a chair. It wasn't long before I realised there was no way I could keep this setup, as the chair was one of the office's red, spinny chairs. Molly had purchased them because they 'complemented the room', but whenever I sat on one all that happened was my productivity (already low) was reduced to nothing, because I wouldn't stop spinning. Why are we expected to grow up? It's just so much fun to act like such a juvenile all the time. Instead of indulging my childlike pleasures, I dragged in a kitchen chair, and started again.

A flashing light on top of the camera blinked, and I began talking.

"Hi everyone!" I said brightly, waving to the camera with a smile fixed firmly on my face, "I'm Elise Mitchell, also known as javastorm, and welcome to another one of my incredibly self-deprecating YouTube videos!" I could edit in a cheering sound effect there, later on maybe.

"I'm sure you're all looking forward to today's new instalment, because I have a parody for you."

Leaning forward conspiratorially, I looked directly into the camera.

"This week," I whispered, "I'm singing a parody of Frozen's 'Do You Wanna Build a Snowman'. Without further ado, I welcome you to my rendition of 'So You Wanna be a Hipster'!"

I made jazz hands at the screen. That would probably become my title screen later, if I added the song's name between my hands.

The guitar let out a tuneful ripple of sound as I strummed it.

"So you wanna be a hipster," I sang, "And wear those glasses like a boss?
I think some real life is overdue
Tumblr can't be here for you
Anymore!"

After I finished singing, I began talking to the camera again.

"Well, I know some of you out there might be missing my vlogs a little, as the last three videos I've made were all sketches or parodies. So here's some good news for you: next week, I'm meeting up with an old friend and hopefully I'll be able to vlog! That's all for now, so bye peeps!"

The red light flicked off as I hit the magic button, and wiped my forehead. It had taken me five goes to get the song exactly right, and my knee was aching a bit from holding up the guitar which I now rested against the wall.

Seeing as it had taken me a good two hours to film and tidy up, I figured my laptop would be charged and I could do some more browsing before Molly got home. For the second time that day, I dropped into the browsing position and relinquished myself to the Internet.