Phoenix: The Battle Against Myself

I Care Too Much

The fire in my heart is the resentment towards people
Who never treat each other like equals

My mom always tell me that you can't defend everyone
But I'm gonna do what it takes to make that nothing else bad will happen to anyone

I don't care what anyone else says, I'm gonna try to save the defenseless
I want to be friends with the friendless
I want to give some air to the breathless

I want to be able to help the reckless
Hone their rash side, so they won't be infected
By the people who don't show compassion or affection
At the beginning of every word to the end of every sentence,
I have a sincere tone, and I've always been selfless

I need you all to know how I feel about the world's issues
When I see the crime of people hurting others, I wish to

Go out and fix it so we can leave in peace
And quiet, coexist in harmony

So when I go out of my door to the school that I loathe with a passion,
I don't feel good for reasons that I can not fathom
Until I go in the school, and I get this reaction
That my dreams are just imagined
Nothing good really ever happens

It's just a never-ending cycle of bad luck around my way
Every day, I just wish it was Friday
So the current days won't feel like they're upside down and sideways
I feel like it's Groundhog's Day until I do something the right way
I'm freezing up constantly like I'm the manifestation of the Ice Age
I'm a heavy handed person, but my heart compels me to be lightweight

It's like this
As I type this,
I'm trying to provide this
Message, but when most people see this, they will deny this

Truth that I speak
The things that I see
Things happen so quick, it's like watching a John Wick fight scene
It's like going to sightsee
For the first time, I don't have to worry about treading lightly
When people get defensive about the truth, I go about it politely
I walk away, and thank God Almighty
That I didn't respond and get feisty
Because I'd have slipped much more than slightly
And this person would invite me
To a fist duel, so he would want to fight me

But I know how avoid these situations
When people start in a manner that is brazen,
I completely do the opposite of the standard expectations
I have a lot of tolerance and patience
Just enough to wait after an hour of talking so I can join in on the conversation

It sucks because I care so much about other people that I constantly think about every person that I see
But half of those people don't even like me

I've never been able to make my own friends
Bad luck is near me, where is the black cat?
Sometimes, I just have to fix loose ends
And on the bottle goes the cap

It's not fair because I think about every type of person other than myself
And then the feeling of guilt and sympathy comes, because the adults won't let me help

They say fend for yourself, survival of the fittest
If people can't defend themselves and they keep getting skittish
What makes it worse is that I'm a witness
I could stop it, but I don't want to be physically dismissed

Unlike most people, I have a heart
And to everyone I interact with, I give a part
Of it to start

Off a new friendship
Everywhere I go, I don't need a critic
Because of my methods to my madness, it shouldn't be anywhere in your interests
Ever since I've been 5th grade, I feel like I have way too many limits

It's kind of hard when so many boundaries are set there waiting for you to cross them
Just so you can screw up and see the corruption & flaws, it seems like the good people are falling
Like it's autumn
Next thing I know, I'll hit rock bottom