AUTHENTIC

eleven

Courtney

We're sitting in a small coffee shop downtown, papers to be filed spread across the table between us.

I sit stiffly across from Noah as I try to keep his attention directed at me.

"Anyways," I continue and clear my throat. Noah finally looks up from his phone again. "We really need to talk about the whole 'child custody' thing."

"Right," He nods and runs a hand through his messy hair.

"Jack is already doing well with just me, and I think it's best he stays with me.." I explain slowly, apprehensive of his response.

"Okay, so what are you thinking?" He asks calmly. I sigh in relief that he hasn't put up a fight about this.

"He stays with me during the week, and you get weekends?" I suggest.

"Every other weekend?" He asks.

"If that's alright with you. I'm okay with being flexible, if you want to see him anytime during the week-" I cut myself off when I realize he's looking at his phone and bite back a snappy remark. I wait until he's refocused again and continue. "During the week you can visit him whenever you want," I offer.

He shakes his head 'yes' again. "Sure, I'm fine with that."

I raise my eyebrows in surprise at how easy he's being. "You're sure you're okay with this schedule?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. You're just being very agreeable. I thought you would give me a hard time-"

"Courtney, I'm not looking to hold on any longer to our marriage if you aren't." Something stings in his words, but I know this is what I want. No matter how much it aches. "The least I can do is make sure this thing goes through smoothly."

I nod numbly as he displays a comforting smile. "I just want what's best for Jack," He adds. "And we both know he's a mama's boy."

I sigh and laugh gently. I check my phone's calendar. "You're right. Can you pick him up this weekend and explain this to him?"

"Yeah, if you want." He answers monotonously. I glance back at him and roll my eyes. He's looking at his damn phone again.

I can only imagine he's texting her by the way he's suddenly smiling at his phone. "Are you certain?" I raise my voice to draw his attention back.

"Yeah, of course." He looks me in the eyes again.

"Alright, we need to talk finances sooner or later too-"

"Yeah, and we will, but I actually need to go now." He interrupts and stands from the table. His phone lights up and I can only guess she's asking for him.

"What-"

"Sorry, can we reschedule?"

"Um, yeah, I guess-"

"Great." He grabs his jacket, gathers his papers, and leaves.

***

The weekend arrived sooner than I wanted it to.

I pack Jack's bag with clothes to take to Noah's apartment. Since he hasn't been there yet, he hasn't had time to get anything over there.

I zip the bag shut and leave it by the door. Finally, I sit with Jack on the sofa while he watches a cartoon I'd put on to keep him occupied.

"Your stuff is ready to go," I let him know. He nods to acknowledge me while his eyes stay glued to the screen.

We sit together quietly for about fifteen minutes until the doorbell rings.

"That's probably your dad," I stand and wait for him to get up before pulling him in to a tight hug. "I love you, and I hope you have a good time, okay?"

He smiles at me. "Okay, I love you too." I walk him to the door and open it for Noah.

He gives me a short wave and greets Jack enthusiastically. I watch in bittersweet silence as Noah walks Jack to the car, and they drive away.

I close the door slowly as the melancholy sets in. I've always been a mother that clings to her child, but this is a different missing.

He's only been gone a few minutes and all I can imagine is him having a great time with Noah. What if he doesn't want to stay with me anymore?

I shake out my hands and expel the thought, then take out my phone and text Ross.

Courtney:
Hey, are you busy this weekend?

Ross:
nope, assuming you don't have anything either- lunch tomorrow at 12?

Courtney:
Sounds great