In My Blood - Sequel to 'Hold On'

2

Andy-

I'm still a bit weak, but I found the strength in me to pick Rye up and carry him back to bed. It broke my heart to find him in the state that he was. Now I know how he must've felt when I fell and hit my head. I feel bad. I scared him. But I can't worry about that right now. Rye needs my full attention. I had laid down beside him and tried to pull him down with me but he stopped me.

"I'm not tired anymore. I don't wanna sleep. I just wanna talk, please." He pleaded, looking down at me through his thick eyelashes. I smiled up at him and nodded my head slightly.

"Stay here. I'm gonna go make us some tea." I told him and kissed his forehead tenderly before exiting the room.

I returned a few minutes later with a mug I'm each hand. I sat down beside Rye and handed him his mug with a big 'R' on it.

"Thank you." He said. He scooted closer to me and took a sip of the hot liquid.

"Why didn't you tell me that you weren't ok?" I asked him as I set my mug down on the bedside table in order to give him my full attention. He looked down and took a deep breath.

"I don't want to be weak. I don't wanna seem weak, look weak, or be weak. I've always been strong and that's how everyone knows me. A strong guy who doesn't give two shits about what people have to say about him. But that's a lie, Andy. I'm not that guy anymore. I do care and no matter what anyone says or does, I listen to what people have to say about me. I listen to it all. I knew I was turning weak and I didn't want to have to admit it." He rambled, his eyes never leaving his cup of tea. I saw one of his hands laying in his lap and took it into my two smaller ones. He finally looked over at me.

"Your not weak, babe. You might be listening to them, but that doesn't make you weak. Your the strongest person I know. And whether you want to deny it or not, I know that you are and so does every single Roadie and all of the boys. But especially me. I've witnessed your strength first hand. When I couldn't be strong enough, you made up for it. You were strong for me, Rye. And now, if I have to return the favor, then that's what I'll do. I just want both of us to be ok, together." I said to him as I positioned myself so I was cuddled into his side, my head resting on his shoulder. Because even if he is the one who needs to be fixed this time, he will forever want to hold me and I will forever want to be held by him. He sat his cup down on the bedside table next to mine and wrapped his arms tightly around me.

"Thank you, Andy." He whispered in my ear. I could hear the emotion in his voice as I scooted closer to him, my head on his chest. I felt wet spots forming on the top of my head. I tightened my arms around him.

"What's wrong, babe?" I asked him softly. He sobbed quietly.

"I almost gave up, Andy." He sobbed into my hair. I swallowed, hard, and grabbed his hand, my own tears threatening to fall.

"Why didn't you?" I asked timidly and intertwined our fingers.

"Because you, the boys, the twins, my mum and dad, Robbie, the Roadies. And... it's just not in my blood, Andy." He rushed out between sobs.

At this point, I didn't care. I pulled out of the embrace and pulled him into my lap. For a moment he looked into my eyes and I saw something in them I had never seen. They were completely different and I didn't know what that meant, what emotion that showed. The worst part about it though was that I didn't know how to turn then back to normal. And that scared me.

And as if everything was in slow motion, the moment seemed to last forever until his lips were on mine and his eyes were sealed shut. My eyes followed his and closed themselves as my hand went to the back of this head, pushing him closer to me. He needed attention and he needed to feel loved. He needed to be shown the same amount of love that he was feeling for these people who saved him less than an hour ago on his bathroom floor. He needed reassurance that he could be loved just as much. And I made it my mission to show him that he can be, and is, indeed, loved that much.

~

-|I had a really nice day today with my cousin and sister and I was able to clear my mind and just forget about a few things in life, even if it was just for a few hours. Hope you like this❤️|-