Love Is Symphony |✓

| 43 |

Dread instantly filled me. It covered me like a blanket, wrapping itself around me until it was clogging up my throat; covering up my face. My hands turned cold and my body frozen. No. That couldn't be possible. Nothing bad would happen, we worked so hard just to get to this day, Sean. I cried blood, broke my heart more times just for this day. No. Nothing could ruin it. I would never let that happen.

"You're lying," I said, voice uneven and lips quivering. I ran a hand over my face. "You're lying. Stop following me. Stop messing with my head!"

Jason tried to say something, but his voice was swallowed by the loud cheer of the crowd as the doors to the club opened, revealing Miranda in a dark Ivory slip dress that was meticulously draped over her body, looking like a feather's touch to her golden skin. She was taking slow steps and the crowd parted for her. Her dark hair was pulled-up with strands framing her small face, revealing an elongated neck that boasted a small diamond pendant. She was smiling and she looked every bit breathtaking with her smoky eyes and glossed lips. All eyes were on her, magnetized by her every move and each effortless sway of her hips. All the confidence I had in me vanished, erased by every bit of her that was better than me.

I thought I could do this, Sean, I really thought I could watch the woman I envied the most be happy and loved by everyone else when I knew that no one could ever love me the same way she was treasured. No matter how much I tried to pretend, I just couldn't.

Tears began to brim my eyes that followed her as she walked up toward the stage. All eyes were on her. She gracefully sat down and the crowd cheered once again. A small grin appeared on her beautiful face and I wanted to run, Sean, I wanted to run toward her—the woman who represented everything that I could ever have and rip her out of her seat. I wanted to pull at her hair and her dress; desired to grab the bejeweled microphone that was handed to her and tell everyone that she didn't deserve their love. She's a liar. She's fake. She's... loved and I wasn't.

"Hey guys!" she happily greeted everyone, tucking a lock of her dark hair behind her ear, "phew. that was such a dramatic entrance for a model."

Jason gently tried to pull me away, grabbing me by the elbow. I turned to look at him with the full intent of pushing him away, but the frustration and fear in his eyes stopped me. On the both short occasions that I've talked to Jason, he always appeared to be calm. A playful smirk was always spread onto his lips, now those lips were pressed into a thin line. "Serenity, please. We gotta go."

"I can't leave. Sean expects me to be here. He wants me to see his first performance."

That was the truth, wasn't it, Sean? We were just talking about it last night with our bare feet tangled together under the sheets. You were stroking my cheek and I was staring straight into your eyes that were full of love for me. "You won't back out from the party, right?" you whispered as you placed a line of chaste kisses along my shoulder.

I chuckled. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

A huge smile blossomed on your face and you scooped mine to grant me more of your addicting kisses. And Sean, I meant that. I wouldn't mind sacrificing a bit more if it meant I got to see you happy. That was how much I loved you. You were the air that I breathe and the fibers that made up my skin, you were the reason I kept pushing forward. You were a hurricane, my love, a catastrophic masterpiece that had been beating my heart down into the tiniest of pieces with each blow of your winds; with each kiss of your lips... but I was willing to ruin myself just a little bit more if it meant I had a future with you.

Because my love, I knew, I hoped and I believed that after that hurricane, you'd calm down. Your winds would slowly dwindle, gently, delicately. Until the howling of your harsh winds would turn into tender and light caresses that would kiss my cheeks and bring me whole again.

I knew. I knew. I knew. But did I really?

"—and just like I promised," Miranda continued to say. Her eyes were twinkling with excitement and her grip on the sparkly microphone tightened, "the newest singing sensation, my partner-in-crime..." Her grin turned to a softer smile. She almost sounded breathless. "My love."

No. No. NO.

"Sean Craig!"

And as the crowd erupted in one of the loudest cheers I have ever heard in my life, all I could hear was Jason calling my name and the sound of my heart breaking for the last time.

"Serenity, let's go!"

My love... Sean. You walked up to her with a smile on your face that was unlike all the smile that you'd ever given me. There was a bounce in your steps and your eyes were bright with overwhelming happiness and dreams. You reached her, the woman who threw herself into your open arms, the woman who giggled out loud when you spun her around. You put her down, her dainty feet touching the stage, and you looked into her eyes and she into yours. For a delusional moment, I thought I saw you hesitate. I thought I saw your face change for a fraction of a second, but all those fantasies disappeared when you leaned in and caught her lips between yours in a kind of kiss that we could never share. The room got louder with wolf-whistles and happy screams while Jason tugged my arm harder.

I watched you smile into the kiss as if I wasn't there, as if it weren't my lips that were touching yours just a few hours ago. I watched you, my love, I watched your dreams morph into reality as each second ticked by while my heart stopped. I painfully watched you kiss another woman that wasn't me, a woman that I could never be.

Sean, as I stood there with tears all over my face and trembling lips... I realized—I finally understood that I could've loved you a thousand times, always better than the last; I could've been in love with you in three lifetimes more... you could always be my heart, my soul, my love, but sadly, grievously, I would never be yours.

-

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With all the love, Cass