ADRIEN X READER

To Doubt or Not to Doubt

*RETURN TO ADRIEN'S PERSPECTIVE. HAVE FUN IN THE MIND OF THIS CAT DADDY! But on a serious note, back to the story. *

   Right now, I don't really know what to think, or what to feel for that matter. Right now, (Y/n) is naked (well she's wearing a towel but still), in my arms, but she also told me something. She told me that before her it was Marinette. That it was Marinette that I started to have feelings for. That it was Marinette who rejected me all those times. But it was also Marinette who had a giant crush on me in school. Marinette. Marinette.

    But there's only her. I love her. I can't argue with that. I mean I love Ladybug. I've loved Ladybug the entire time. And that includes when Marinette was Ladybug too. But the thing was, I was catching feelings even before I knew that (Y/n)'s true identity was hers. I still had feelings for her before I knew she was Ladybug. And Ladybug did get cooler and more fun over the Summer. That's what made me love her even more. 

    The thing is, that means I did love Marinette. That's what it means. Do I still? I think that maybe I don't know. I think that there's this part of me that always saw her as a friend... my first friend... but ever since I met (Y/n) I knew there was something special about her. What if there was something special in Marinette too? No. No. I love (Y/n) and she loves me. There's no point for me to even be thinking about that, but I guess I am because it's human nature.

    So what am I supposed to do? If I was in love with another girl? 

    A part of me feels a little angry. Angry that (Y/n) didn't tell me but I know that later she tried her best, and I didn't listen. I'll acknowledge that.

    But what if I learned about Marinette's identity earlier like I did with (Y/n)? If she loves me as Adrien and I love her as Ladybug... then we could have both been happy together. But I don't love her anymore. Do I?

    I look down at the beautiful creature in my arms. She's shaken and tired and knows what this means for us. She knew that she needed to tell me but she obviously knows also what the repercussions are. She knew that with my doubt and maybe even anger that this could ruin us. I can see it in her eyes. I can see everything in her eyes. why is it what I can just feel everything that she is thinking? I know she probably needs support right now too. I promised her no matter what. And I intend to keep that promise.

    But it's not out of commitment that I do the things I do. It's out of love. 

    I know she's expecting a reply from me. I look down at her again and she's blushing. We've been together before but it wasn't necessarily very scandalous or intimate. Personality, I love her, she's great. Witty and fun but also a little mysterious... she's just so great. Well I can't argue it, I do love her! It does not matter. It was always her.

    So I devour her with my eyes. I devour her with my eyes and I want her.

    Her skin is still a little wet, and she smells like herself but also like my home. It's a nice balance and I like it a lot.  I know that I've alluded to intimacy before, I hope she knows the lingerie thing was a joke (sort of.) Glancing from her shoulder to her beautiful neck with my eyes I trace every detail of her face, every curvature of her body. I devour her with my eyes, and she blushes even more. 

    "Y- You know that I'm naked right?" She says. She always knows what to say, it's a little goofy but it snaps me back to reality.

    "Oh yes," I tell her, "I am painfully aware." I feel something in my lap stir. Yup. Yup.

    I know she's looking for a reply but there's only one thing I want to do. Emotions are going crazy inside my head right now like an ocean full of wild waves. I want to tell her that everything is going to be okay and that I will always stay by her side. That it doesn't matter to me who was who first. (Because it doesn't right?) No. But my body is betraying me. I feel this force inside of me and all it wants to do is push it inside of her. (Okay, maybe not so dramatic, maybe I need to settle down. This isn't a smutty fanfic.)

    "Is this ok?" I ask her as my hand makes its way up her torso. I don't want to take advantage of her if she's not feeling up to anything, so I tuck the edge of her towel in.

    Her eyes twinkle in the fluorescent light of my bathroom. "You're perfect... so do you still..."

    "Yes absolutely. I'm yours."

    "Mine?" 

    "Maybe I haven't always been just because I didn't know, but I am now."

    I know I seem to have been kissing her a lot lately, but I lean down and kiss her anyway. 

    "Hey Adrien?"

    "Yeah?"

    "Does your dad know I'm here? What if he walks in?"

    "You're right. You're right. I need some sense I'll admit. It's just that after being hung up on the idea of Ladybug for so long, and not being able to really be with here has made me really value the time I have with you." Well that was certainly a lot.

    "No sense sometimes makes life boring."

    "So should you go and get dressed?"

    "I'll have to eventually."

    "It's fine it's fine I don't want to make things awkward between us. Are you hungry?" This honestly geeks.

    She looks at me with these serious eyes "I like that you care about me you know."

    "Of course, let's just try to figure this whole thing out. You're still in the saving Paris business aren't you?"

     "Absolutely," she breathes.